A few nights ago I met a friend for a drink at a bar around the corner from my apartment. It’s not a bar I go to often, for several reasons. Anyway, he and I were talking and I mentioned that the last time I was there was several months ago on a bad date.
My friend asked me what made it a bad date.
And I kind of laughed. Because it shouldn’t have been a bad date. The guy was perfect on paper. Hot (I wish I could triple underline here) and smart as hell (a professor of something very sexy). But he just said and did a bunch of really horrible things that made it impossible for me to like him. If he’d have said or done any one of these things, I still wouldn’t have liked him.
So here we go, my list of things a guy should never say/talk about or do on a date:
- He made a blatantly racist comment. Not only that, but he didn’t even realize he was being a racist. Moron.
- He was cheap. He insisted on paying and then didn’t leave a tip. I would have been happy to pay for my own drink AND leave a tip.
- He was divorced and had a kid who lived with his mom. I gathered from our conversation that he saw his kid every other weekend. He told me he didn’t really have time to see his kid more often. Sorry, but a guy who can’t make time to see his kid more that a couple of times a month is SO not sexy.
- He bragged about having a very privileged upbringing and how his parents were able to buy his way back into school after he was tossed out for bad behavior. Why would he think that would be a cool thing to talk about? Like I’d care that he was a bad boy teenager who got away with murder because his parents had money. Who would find that sexy? What 40+ year old talks about shit like that on a date.
- He talked about how hot his ex was. WTF!
- He complained about his finances (which, from what I could tell were quite comfortable). Not on a first date dude. Or a second or a third.
- He answered his phone. It wasn’t work and it wasn’t his kid (I have infinite patience for men taking business calls or taking/making calls to children). It was a casual call that didn’t seem all that important. Maybe it was more important than it seemed. But he answered it, talked right there in front of me for a few minutes and then went back to our conversation with just a casual, “oh, sorry about that”. Not OK.
This is my list. These things may not apply to every woman. Maybe there are some women out there who wouldn’t mind a cheap guy, or a racist one, or one who talks about how hot his ex is. But I sure don’t know any of them.
What about you ladies? What would be on your lists?
Tags: apartment, bad date, dating, first date