Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The 8 Biggest Lies I’ve Been Told By Men

The name of this blog is Sex, Lies and Dating in the City, but it’s been a while since I’ve written specifically about lies. I thought it might be fun (fun?) to make a little list of the biggest lies I’ve been told by men.  You can click on the links to read the detailed stories behind a couple of these.

  1. She and I are just friends.
  2. I missed your calls.  The battery in my cell was dead.
  3. I have to work that night.
  4. I have no idea why that woman is stalking me.
  5. I’d really like to be in a committed relationship.
  6. I’m planning on moving to New York sometime in the next few months.
  7. Nothing’s wrong.
  8. I’ve never lied to you.  I am divorced, from my first wife.

What about you readers?  Care to share some of the whoppers you’ve been told.  And hey, guys, don’t feel left out.  I know you get lied to also.  Please feel free to join in and share.

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18 to “The 8 Biggest Lies I’ve Been Told By Men”

  1. SpikeTheLobster says:

    OMG, number 4 is brilliant! I daren’t even ask what the reality behind that was.

    In the past, I’ve been cheated on by every woman I’ve dated, so I think the worst lie is always “We’re just friends.” And you’re right about following your gut feeling (from the divorced guy story) – whenever a woman has said that to me and my gut has gone *!painful contraction!* in response, I’ve known somewhere that she was cheating.

    I’m sick and twisted, perhaps, but the funny thing is watching them squirm for a while afterwards, as they keep trying to hide it and you wait for them to admit it. All that effort when they could simply say “I’m seeing someone else because (a) I’m bored with you or (b) I’m psychotic like that”. Feh.

  2. Teifion says:

    @SpikeTheLobster – That’s okay, I’m more than happy to.

    Tell us more about #4!

    My friends don’t tend to lie to me (practical jokes and sarcastic comments aside), if they do they’re either really good at it or I’m just inept, probably the latter.

  3. Monique@dazzlinglysingle says:

    I fell asleep and my aunt turned my off my cellphone, that’s why I missed your calls.

    She’s going trough difficult times and I’m only helping her out.

  4. Singlegal says:

    “The restraining order was a load of hooey and I have no idea why my ex wife filed it. The judge threw it out.”
    Wish I were kidding.

  5. RVASarah says:

    “I just had lunch/dinner with [ex’s name] to catch up. Nothing more.” That one is a personal favorite.

  6. Veka says:

    “I’m only going to lunch with my ex to catch up, I really don’t want to see her.” Then after lunch, “We’re gonna see a movie now, I’ll text you on my way home.” Like they really went to see a movie.

  7. starangel82 says:

    “Well the divorce isn’t final… yet. But we are completely seperated, so I can still see you!”
    Um, no, you can’t. At least not in my world.

  8. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Spike and Teifion
    I promise to one day write up the full story behind #4. And please feel free to remind me if I forget. And yes, Spike, I completely agree with you. The lying is ridiculous. Why not just tell the truth? People can be quite stupid.
    Oh, yes, I’ve heard about that one. Never heard it myself, though. Sad.
    I wish you were kidding, too. At least we can laugh about these now. Right?
    Oh yeah. It’s always, “just to catch up”. Idiots!
    Sad, sad, sad. I hope you asked him about the movie afterwards.
    That’s funny, just had a long talk with someone about this phenomena of separated men yesterday. Sheesh.

  9. sparklytosingle says:

    1. “I think everything is just tickity boo with our relationship.” Except for that other girl he was seeing.
    2. “I love you.” Er, I mean I want to sleep with you.
    3. “I got tested for STD’s and I’m clean for everything.”
    4. “I want to marry you.”
    5. “I’m leaving you because I want to be single, I need that freedom from commitment right now.” Or rather, I need freedom from commitment TO YOU so I can quit feeling guilty about sleeping with that girl whose birthday party I took you to, so you could make friends with her and see that she’s really a nice person.

  10. Veka says:

    Wowww these are really good… I’ve gotten that one too: “I want you to pick up and move 800 miles away from your hometown and marry me.” Needless to say, that never happened. Good thing, too.

  11. lostplum says:

    “I’m still trying to figure out how text messages work.”

  12. CharlieHipHop says:

    You sure are dealing with a bunch of amateurs! Thanks for the inspiration. I’m going to do a “top-ten lies I’ve told to women” blog post sometime in the next week. It’s on my to-do list.

    People are sneaky monkeys. What can I say? My ex-wife never admitted her completely obvious affair and forced me to spend money on a PI so that she couldn’t touch me in the divorce. Fun stuff.

    Love your blog, btw.

  13. parlezvouskiwi says:

    I have to admit, I have used number 2 before. Ooops. But he was border line stalking me!

    “It’s not you, it’s me”. Classic.

  14. defenestration says:

    Haha yeah these are good. Some favorites from my files:

    “I’ve only had sex with one other person before you.” (This only becomes funny in the context that when I finally ended up comparing notes with other girls over time, turns out he said that to ALL of them. That sure is a lot of #2’s. And I guess I mean that in more ways than one…)

    And my favorite one of 2008:
    “My girlfriend and I have an open relationship.”
    Yeah I got in a lot of trouble for believing that one.

  15. Shannia says:

    – you’re too good for me… YES I
    – I forgot my keys at my house so I HAD to sleep at her house and I sorta caressed her but I promise I didn’t cheat on you (excuse me) this is actually the last guy I was dating and that had me convinced I needed a break from it all.
    – I love you but I love her too ( and who else do you love?)
    – The girl you overheard in the background at my house was my cousin (that’s probably why he told me he’d call back and hung up right away and never 1-picked up the phone after that night 2- didn’t call back.
    Wow I’ve really dated winners…lol

  16. queenieNYC says:

    “No, I really am straight.”

    Need I say more?

  17. queenieNYC says:

    Oooh, and one odd one. A friend who asked me to lie to his girlfriend about a movie we went to see. I refused. He was supposed to wait and see it with her, but came along with me and another friend. They broke up two days later.

    We were in college – which probably makes this seem a lot more reasonable.

  18. SINgleGIRL says:

    I’m speechless. I hope you hit the guy who told you #3 – and HARD.
    Yeah, that one is soooo dangerous.
    hahaha. I’m sensing a theme, here – reasons why I didn’t reply.
    Welcome to the blog and Thanks. I can’t imagine having to hire a PI. Damn.
    LOL – shame on you.
    Oooh, that’s a good one. I wonder how many guys have used that one.
    You USED to date them. Now you know better because you are clearly too good for them.
    Love it. Any guy who has to say that is automatically a liar.