Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

A Tale of Two Dates

Earlier tonight I met a friend for coffee at a popular local coffee bar.  It’s not a great place for dates.  I’d certainly never suggest it.  But every once and a while I’ll notice couples meeting there for what is obviously their .

Tonight I noticed a very cute, youngish guy who was nervously sitting alone, sipping his coffee and taking tiny bites of a cookie.  He was so clearly waiting for a blind date, probably someone he met online.  Every time an attractive woman came anywhere near his table he jumped up as if to greet her.

He sat there alone for a long time. Now, for all I know, maybe he was early.  Or maybe his date was late or lost or stuck on a subway somewhere.  But when I left he was still sitting there, and at that point he was looking pretty sad.  I was tempted to go up to him and say something, but what was there to say, “I’m sorry if you were stood up. You seem cute and sweet.”  No.  That wouldn’t have been helpful.  I don’t know anything that would be helpful in that situation.  Other than, perhaps, a strong shot of whiskey.

Straight from there I went to my date, drinks with a new guy.  He’s not going to earn a nickname, which is a little sad because I had high hopes for him.  But then, not every date can be a good one and not every guy can be THE GUY.

We should have had a million things to talk about.  He should have been really interesting.  Instead it was like pulling teeth.  He wanted the night to go on longer, for us to grab dinner.  But I’m not the kind of girl who’ll accept a dinner invitation from a bland guy.  I just won’t.  I’d rather go home early and eat cereal from a box in front of the TV.

So there you have it, a tale of two dates, neither of them good.  Sorry about that.  I know that people prefer happy endings.


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7 to “A Tale of Two Dates”


  1. SpikeTheLobster says:

    Hey, at least your date turned up! One thing I’ve often found odd is that the majority of online dating sites seem to make such a huge deal of ‘matching’. They’ll find people for you who match what you enjoy, where you enjoy it and what colour socks you wear to get that particular level of enjoyment.

    What they don’t seem to realise (or what I don’t understand) is that it doesn’t seem to make that much difference: it can help, but mostly I’d imagine it makes for blandness like you mention – what is there to talk about if you both like exactly the same things? I dunno, maybe I’m wrong.

    “I’d rather go home early and eat cereal from a box in front of the TV” – bizzarely, this is almost exactly what I did last night. Your mind-reading talents are impressive.

  2. damiella says:

    As well-matched as you may be on paper (or computer screen), nothing surpasses that x-factor of meeting in person. I met somebody I was 99% compatible with (99%!!!!) and there was no spark when we met face to face. Amazing how much weight that missing 1% can have on a true connection.

    Sorry things didn’t pan out with someone who seemed so promising. Here’s hoping the next one will be The Guy.

  3. TudorCityGirl says:

    Great post! Yes, we all love happy endings but let’s face it, in this city this is usually the ending to first dates.. at least 50 of mine have gone this way! I guess we keep going for the hope that one day a date does have a happy ending for both. Good luck!
    TCG

  4. starangel82 says:

    Sorry your date didn’t go better. Yeah, they all can’t be The One, but it’s always a little disappointing when you go in with high hopes. Or any hopes. I feel bad for the guy that you think was stood up. I’ve had that happen… not a fun thing. He was probably too good for her anyway. :)

  5. SINgleGIRL says:

    -SpiketheLobster
    Of course, our hobbies are not predictors of who we’ll click with. But they don’t hurt as a starting place. I figure I’m more likely to spark with a guy who likes some of the things I like. Maybe.
    -Damiella
    Thanks darling. There’s always a next one. Yeah, those tests are funny. I figure anything between 70 and 100% is pretty much the same thing. Likely but not guaranteed.
    -TudorCityGIrl
    I’d consider 50% a pretty awesome average, actually. :-) Thx sweetie.
    -starangel82
    Yeah, I hate being disappointed. But it really wanted a bad date. Just bland. Like you, I feel SO bad for the guy who was stood up. Way worse for him than for myself.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Dating sites suck, and I say that as somone who’s had a lot of luck with them. (I met my wife that way.) The problem is that everyone says the same thing – “I like movies, the outdoors and nice restaurants. Blah blah blah.”

    I used to do that and then realized it basically matched me with everyone. I found that I had a lot more success when I pared my profile down to a single sentence: “We probably like a lot of the same stuff but none of that matters unless we want to kiss each other in the first five minutes.”

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Anonymous
    What an awesome line.