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Keep Seeing This (Are Open Marriages on the Rise?)

I haven’t kept a count, but I’m gonna guess that in the last 7 days I’ve seen at least 5 references (on blogs and on ) to single women getting asked out by or going out on dates with married men (who then disclosed on the date that they were married).

I’m of two minds here.  1) If these are guys in open marriages, then they’re not doing anything wrong.  They are exercising their option to pursue extra relationships outside the marriage.  And, I’m actually pretty cool with the idea of open relationships, both in theory and in practice.

But 2) it can be really hard to be on the receiving end of these attentions.  Because a girl never knows if the guy is being truthful about his relationship status (unless she meets the wife).  And it’s hard to know where to draw lines.

Or maybe these guys are just all cheating bastards?


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8 to “Keep Seeing This (Are Open Marriages on the Rise?)”


  1. starangel82 says:

    I sure hope open marriages aren’t on the rise. I’m not looking to share a guy with anyone else. Do you know how hard it would be remembering what days he gets to be with the wife and what days he gets to be with you? Or wondering what he did with the wife right before he came to see you? Shudder. No thank you.

  2. Dont Be A Slut says:

    My vote is cheating bastards, but maybe I’m just bitter.

  3. SINgleGIRL says:

    -starangel82
    Well, I know those types of situations aren’t for everyone. I guess you can say I have a European attitude about fidelity.
    -Don’t Be A Slut
    You’re not bitter. My guess was probably a lot of cheating bastards with a couple of open marriages tossed in.

  4. Shannia says:

    cheating bastards… not a week goes by that one of those doesn’t ask me out and my answer is always the same, let’s call your wife if she agrees we’re going out.

  5. LeJa says:

    I actually worked for a couple who was in an open relationship. They said it worked in the beginning but then it drove them to pull divorce papers. They are still together actually, but I feel that open relationships do pose a lot of questions for the people in the marriage and the other woman/man. I don’t agree with open relationships b/c honestly I don’t like to share.

  6. pansophy says:

    Shannia: Most sensible answer I have heard to that one.

    First off there is a big difference between an open relationship and a couple that basically knows that they cheat on each other and don’t talk about it. I know A LOT of the later goes on (both male and female cheating) but I don’t think I have met anyone in NYC doing the former.

  7. PiscesInPurple says:

    I like to think of myself as an open-minded, non-jealous woman. But I could NEVER do that. Not even if I knew the wife was cool with it.

  8. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Shannia
    LOL. Those darn French-Canadians. They’re bold.
    -LeJa
    I know a couple of couples with open relationships and like the couple you know they’ve had issues with it. But they’ve made it work. Whereas I’ve known several couple who’ve been torn apart by cheating. Almost all of whom have split.
    -pansophy
    There are certainly lots of different ways to be “open”. I do know people who have had the, “we’re allowed to see other people talk. And I know people in the other category too. Honestly, I respect the former more. I like out in the open.
    -PiscesinPurple
    It’s not easy. I used to see someone, very casually, who was living with someone. And I knew that his s/o also saw other people. It really didn’t bother me, because I wasn’t emotionally involved.