Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

With a Little Help From My Friends

I have something kinda sad and pathetic to admit.  I don’t read as many books as I used to.  I still read books.  But now that I’m completely tied into this whole blogosphere, twitter world I find myself spending so many damn hours reading online.   Each week I find at least a half dozen more sites I want to check in with on a regular basis and, well, each week I spend more and more time staring at my computer screen.

Anyway, earlier tonight I was playing catch-up with an old favorite, Dan Savage’s column, Savage Love. Now please, if you hate or find some of his opinions offensive, please don’t go shreiking at me about it.  I love his column and agree with him a lot of the time.  Not always.  I can’t really think of any writers/bloggers/journalists who I agree with all of the time.

The letter that caught my attention was actually pretty dull by his column’s standards.  A 32-yr old straight guy in NYC with a pretty high opinion of himself wrote in to ask if he should seek therapy to “tame his personality” as his friends have told him that his “approach to courtship” scares women off.  When a female friend offered to act as wingwoman for him he rejected the offer because “prowling for random women in a bar doesn’t fit his sense of romance”.

I liked Dan’s .  I’m not going to bother summarizing it for you.  You can click and read it for yourself if you’re curious.

I would have probably gone in a different direction, though (oddly ending up it pretty much the same place). For me, this is a classic case of a person not listening to the people in their lives. We all do it.  I do it, for sure.  And guess what, in most cases, my friends are right and I am wrong.

His friends had pointed out his issues.  A female friend offered to go trolling with him.  But his ego is so bloated that he can’t hear what they’re really saying, which is, “You’re an asshole.  Take it down a notch or ten.”  He’d rather think of himself as needing professional help, instead of just listening to his friends and accepting the assistance they’ve been offering.

I don’t know if the guy who wrote the letter is going to take Dan’s advice.  I hope he does.  More importantly, I’m trying hard to take my own advice on this one.  Every once in a while I get some wicked awesome advice from my readers.  I’m going to have to try harder to take it, and not go with the instincts I know (really, really know) will lead me to nothing but trouble.


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1 to “With a Little Help From My Friends”


  1. Anonymous says:

    way to be vague Simone. What advice? WTF?