So, I got fired today. Well not fired. Laid off. Told that because there really isn’t that much work for my department to do (which is absolutely true, there have been days when I’ve had no actual work assigned to me) that they’ll have to be letting me go. They were very, very nice about it. I could tell they felt really bad.
Anyway, this isn’t a post about that. I did the self pity thing all morning on Twitter. I’m sick of it already. No, this is actually a post about dating and relationships.
Stay with me.
This was a pretty crappy job. The pay sucked (Background info for my newer readers: I’m a career changer in transition. I walked away from a career in which I was relatively well paid and now am just barely making ends meet.). I mean really sucked. It wasn’t even covering my basic living expenses. And it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing with my time. Not even close. Not to mention the fact that I really didn’t love the way that some of my colleagues spoke to me (like I might have suffered some head trauma).
So in some ways, the fact that it’s over is a relief. Because I didn’t love it. And truthfully, the fact that I had it kept me from actively pursuing more appropriate work. I’m pretty sure I’d be more aggressive with pitches and networking and all that stuff if I didn’t have this cushion. It could be that this is the best thing that ever happened to me,
It wasn’t too long ago that I had a relationship just like this job. Wrong from the start. With a guy who wasn’t even meeting my basic needs. But he was there, and he made me feel less lonely. Comfortable. But not good. Not even close to good. And because we were together I wasn’t out there, dating other people.
I was devasted when he ended things. I’m not going to lie. It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t losing anything of any real value to me. But it did eventually hit me, in a wave of relief. That aha moment. Aha, he wasn’t worth having. Aha, our relationship sucked and now it’s over. Aha, I should be happy about this.
I lost my job today. Aha, it’s probably for the best.
Tags: boyfriend, job, relationship