Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Comfortable Isn’t Always Good

So, I got fired today.  Well not fired.  Laid off.  Told that because there really isn’t that much work for my department to do (which is absolutely true, there have been days when I’ve had no actual work assigned to me) that they’ll have to be letting me go.  They were very, very nice about it.   I could tell they felt really bad.

Anyway, this isn’t a post about that.  I did the self pity thing all morning on Twitter.  I’m sick of it already.  No, this is actually a post about dating and relationships.

Stay with me.

This was a pretty crappy .  The pay sucked (Background info for my newer readers:  I’m a career changer in transition.  I walked away from a career in which I was relatively well paid and now am just barely making ends meet.).  I mean really sucked.  It wasn’t even covering my basic living expenses.  And it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing with my time.  Not even close.  Not to mention the fact that I really didn’t love the way that some of my colleagues spoke to me (like I might have suffered some head trauma).

So in some ways, the fact that it’s over is a relief.  Because I didn’t love it.  And truthfully, the fact that I had it kept me from actively pursuing more appropriate work.  I’m pretty sure I’d be more aggressive with pitches and networking and all that stuff if I didn’t have this cushion.   It could be that this is the best thing that ever happened to me,

It wasn’t too long ago that I had a just like this job.  Wrong from the start.  With a guy who wasn’t even meeting my basic needs.  But he was there, and he made me feel less lonely.   Comfortable.  But not good.  Not even close to good.  And because we were together I wasn’t out there, dating other people.

I was devasted when he ended things.  I’m not going to lie.  It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t losing anything of any real value to me.  But it did eventually hit me, in a wave of relief.  That aha moment.  Aha, he wasn’t worth having.  Aha, our relationship sucked and now it’s over.  Aha, I should be happy about this.

I lost my job today.   Aha, it’s probably for the best.


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12 to “Comfortable Isn’t Always Good”


  1. Singlegal says:

    Ah, I do believe I had a marriage that fit this exact same description …
    Good luck to you. Sometimes, I think when the Universe forces us to make changes, it really does have a plan.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hey Simone, this is exactly how i felt when I got laid off about 6 weeks ago, it was like they felt worst then i did. Afterwords, i was able to realize how i hated that job. I just started something 2 weeks ago and am having a good time,,, getting less $ but life goes on.
    Shania

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hey Simone. I am so sorry to hear that. Do you have any dates lined up tonight to get you cheered up?

    Hang in there.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hey Simone,
    Sorry to hear that. We are in the same boat in the sense I will be losing my job next month.
    Let us hang in there and keep the boat from sinking!
    Good luck.

  5. RVASarah says:

    I know exactly how you feel. Comfortable was the last 5 months of my 2 year relationship…which is one of the reasons why I ended it. I’ve been riding the “Aha moment” ever since.
    A stranger in a bar once told me, “Girl, the universe has a way of providing you with what you need,” and I think she was right.
    Good luck!

  6. Hypatia says:

    I’m sorry though… :-( That’s never easy. I hope things look up on the dating and the job front soon.

  7. Juggle Jane says:

    Congratulations! Seriously – there is nothing better than losing a job you couldn’t stand. On to bigger and better things!!

  8. Dont Be a Slut says:

    Congrats on the aha moment. Sometimes it takes a while to see the value of transitions when you’re going through them…

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    :-) Thanks everyone. It’s been a rough day. Rough and tough and good, too. But mostly rough. Knowing something is good for you in the long term is one thing. Making it work is something else entirely. But then, you all know that.
    -Singlegal
    “force” is the key word here. Damn that universe.
    -Shania
    I’ll have to hope for luck as good as yours. Fingers crossed.
    -RVASarah
    Well, I hope the universe remembers to come along and provide me with a way to pay rent, too.
    -Hypatia
    That would be good. At least one OR the other.
    -Don’t Be a Slut
    I may be able to see the value – but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
    And thank you to my random anonymous peeps. I appreciate the good thoughts.

  10. HyperDuke says:

    Well i dont really know wat to say to this moment…”Aha” i guess… lol
    But really What was your old “Well Paying” job

  11. dwi says:

    i like u opinion

  12. SINgleGIRL says:

    -HyperDuke
    There’s not much to say. I just have to figure out what happens next. And that’s probably going to take awhile. As to my old career, well, that’s on the other side of the wall (the wall between my life and this blog).
    -dwi
    Thanks so much and welcome to the blog.


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