Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Updates for a Tuesday Afternoon

The guy I had plans with for tonight texted me at 3:11pm.  3:11pm.  We were supposed to meet for drinks at 7 (at an undecided location).  And this was supposed to be our (we made these plans last Wednesday and I hadn’t heard from him since).  He asked if tonight was still good for me.  I actually thought about it for a few minutes and then realized my answer had to be, hell no.  If I had said yes, I would have been letting him know that I was OK with that kind of thing.  With having him put me really low on his priority list.  And I’ve done that before.  Too many times.  It’s not cool.

I was polite about it, though.  That’s just who I am.  I jokingly said that I thought he’d forgotten about me and that I was busy.  I suggested we get together another time.  So I wasn’t saying, go to hell. I was saying, I thought you were blowing me off and so I made other plans.  You lose.  Would you like another shot.

So now we’re getting together tomorrow night and yes we have concrete plans in place for that.  And so we’ll see.

In other news, I’ve finally gotten around to updating my About Me page.  Quite proud of myself for that.


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7 to “Updates for a Tuesday Afternoon”


  1. Shannia says:

    what happened to date #2 with Coach?

  2. MakesNooSense says:

    I have had this EXACT same thing happen to me more than once. What the February? Is it a power play? Is it because there is some insecurity on the guys part?? I’d love to get some guy perspective on this one….for male readers….would you mind commenting?? I’m truly curious! Help a girl out!!!

  3. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Shannia
    Coach got all flaky with me on Sunday. He never said what/where the day was – just Sunday night. I texted him that morning for details and well, things just got complimented. We’re rescheduled for Friday night now and guess what – we don’t have concrete plans. This frustrates me. I fear this has something to do with the mama’s boy thing. Maybe he’s used to having someone do all of the planning and deciding in his life for him. But I’m still interested and willing to see.
    -MakesNooSense
    I don’t know what it is. I think that some guys really think that we’re all so desperate for men that we’re at their beck and call. It’s not cool and I’m not playing along. I’d rather be celibate.

  4. MakeNooSense says:

    You rock my socks off for sticking to your guns on this one. I agree with your thoughts. Silly boys! It’s so much easier for me to get some dick than make a new girlfriend. Guys are a dime a dozen. I sent a link to some of my guys (that I can’t possibly tell that I have a blog) to get their opinion…I’ll keep ya posted if I find out some earth shattering updated…but it’s probably BS. MEN!!! I love the bastards but they make me nuts! Keep up the good work! I love your twitter updates!!!

  5. Miss Sensuality says:

    Good girl! Sometimes it is difficult to say no when really- if the truth be told- you want to say yes. I have to remind myself of this:) Look forward to hearing how he treats you in the future…

  6. sfsingleguy says:

    “3:11pm. We were supposed to meet for drinks at 7 (at an undecided location). And this was supposed to be our first date (we made these plans last Wednesday and I hadn’t heard from him since).”

    “I have had this EXACT same thing happen to me more than once. What the February? Is it a power play? Is it because there is some insecurity on the guys part?? I’d love to get some guy perspective on this one….for male readers….would you mind commenting?? I’m truly curious! Help a girl out!!!”

    Making plans a week in advance is a weird deal to close, because if any part of it is left out, it has to make both people wonder what is going to happen. In face, I’ve noticed that making nebulous plans irregardless of the next meeting causes trouble and leaves people wondering what is going on.

    What was he thinking? Probably a lot of things, but couldn’t decide on one crucial item, when to call to confirm the date and set the plans. Sunday or Monday probably would have been his best times to call you and confirm the plans (that’s why they’re called plans after all), but I would guess that fair game would have been anytime up to 24 hours before.

    Getting in contact Sunday or Monday might result in ‘something suddenly came up’, which I’ve run into before. So this is a tough decision for guys sometimes if it gets too much into their head. I’ve found the best decision is to just make a decision with the plans and deal with it; if the date sucks because you didn’t have enough time to think up plans for the date, then that’s a risk you run by dating :)

    Hope that helps. What’s the girls’ idea of how long before the date to confirm?

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    First, my apologies for taking so long to reply to everyone’s comments. This week sucked. I mean really sucked.
    -MakesNooSense
    You said it sister. They make me nuts. And thanks :-)
    -Miss Sensuality
    It is VERY hard for me to say no when what I want is to just say yes. I’m breaking a lifetime of bad patterns here. But I know that always going along with what a guy wants, even when it seems unreasonable to me will eventually lead me to a heap of trouble. I’m too old for that shit.
    -sfsingleguy
    Thank you for the clarification. What you wrote makes a lot of sense. Yes, it would have been better if we just had concrete plans up front. Barring that, He should have called or emailed or texted no later than 24 hours in advance to confirm and set a definite time and place. That’s the way I see it. Anything less seems like I was being taken for granted, and I can’t be comfortable with that.