Last week I introduced a new feature to the blog. Every Sunday I’m going to have a guest blogger, not an expert, just another normal person (normal being a relative thing) who tells us a real dating story. I like stories.
Last week SFSingleGuy told us this beginning of a story. Here is part two.
Define The Relationship. That talk that people in a relationship have at significant stages. I had been told by my friends to expect something around the one month mark. My longest relationship previously had been six weeks contiguously; there had been a couple of longer term relationships but it was always an off and on thing.
The month mark fell on a Sunday, so I took her out to dinner at a hip fusion restaraunt in the Haight. After dinner we went back to her place, where I produced cupcakes for dessert. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to spend the night because of work I had to do still before Monday morning, but somehow ended up in bed with her shortly after. The DTR talk never materialized, for which I was kind of relieved. But I had to submit a big project estimate the next day (when you are self employed this stuff is really important), so I stayed until midnight and then bid her goodnight.
Another date, and she went to Mexico for two weeks, and got back on V-Day. I drove about half an hour to a Chicago style pizza joint to pick up dinner for us, she had mentioned that she missed east coast pizza. She stayed at my place that night, and then the next day I kissed her goodbye and headed out to Tahoe for a few days of vacation. I felt that maybe I should have made some more time for her that day, but a huge snowstorm was falling which would mean great skiing, and I really needed to get away for a day. And she had just been on holiday for two weeks, so this was fair right?
We continued to do the twice a week date through the end of February, and it kind of felt like things where getting a bit stale. I was going to turn 37 on the first of March, and that was stressing me out a bit. I counted up the things that I hadn’t accomplished in my life, and wasn’t feeling so great about it. So we didn’t end up making plans on my birthday; I went out for beers with a friend of mine. I called her the next day though (we had kept in touch via email and text up to then), and we ended up going out for dinner. She surprised me with small chocolate cakes carried out by the waiters, it put a smile on my face.
Maybe I was just being a stress case. We went back to my place and watched a movie. Afterwards we ended up getting it on, but I was not feeling all that hot and heavy. Sex was usually good between us, but there were occasions when it was flat, and this was one of them. When it was clear this was one of those times, she got up to use the bathroom, came back out and kissed me goodnight, and left. I was kind of in shock – she didn’t even say more than a couple words. I had offered to walk her to her car, but she just smiled and split. I called her phone once a couple minutes later to talk about what just happened, but got voicemail. Was this her way of saying sayonara? I felt like I’d just been used, but I wouldn’t really understand the details until a few weeks later.”
Tags: dating, stress