Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

I’m Looking For A Man

First let me admit than I’m a bit tipsy (I’m writing this Friday night, after my date, but setting it to post Saturday morning.  I do that a lot.  Write things the day before or days before.  It helps me with the whole posting every day thing.  There, now you know one of my secrets.).  Anyway, I think I’m pretty damn and so it’s OK.

My date was OK.  We talked and had fun and it was all perfectly pleasant.  I’m pretty sure there won’t be a 2nd date though.  I could be wrong, but my gut tells me no.

Why, you ask, if I had fun, would there be no ?  Well, here’s the short answer.  He seemed like a perfectly decent 40-something year old boy.  And I’m SO tired of boys.  I’m looking for a man.

Coincidentally, earlier today, I read this piece in The Frisky that laid out the difference between boys and .  I like it.  My list might be a little different, but they got the gist of it.


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10 to “I’m Looking For A Man”


  1. Teifion says:

    Tipsy blog posts = funny, it’s just a simple fact of blogging.

    What to you defines a man from a boy?

    Pending this information I may be able to post up an attempt at a joke.

  2. Global Patriot says:

    Sad that you’re finding ‘boys’ at the age of 40+, especially in NYC, where one would expect maturity to come at a much earlier age, but it seems I may be mistaken as you have encountered more than a few who would end up on the Frisky list referenced above.

  3. Miss SDee says:

    I couldn’t agree more.
    Thing is, it can be hard to ignore the manchild when you’ve had a fun date.
    I’ve found myself fighting thoughts like “well, maybe after a few dates I can start making suggestions, bring something up”
    I’d like to add that not only do I not want a boy, I do not want a project.

  4. ecletikfeel says:

    Ugh, so boys are still parading as men in their 40s? Is there no hope?! *shakes fist*

    and @Miss SDee, I soo feel you on not wanting a project, I don’t have time to “hold and mold”

  5. Anonymous says:

    Funny that you say that. Weren’t you referring yourself to be a 38-yo girl? Also, what did your boy do? Did he fart and laugh? Did he say he liked Hulk Hogan?
    The short explanation is not good enough

  6. jenmata says:

    It is incredible how some people (not only men) never grow up. And I tend to think, in contrast to Global Patriot, that in NYC particularly there are more boys than men. There is something about this city that makes it some sort of Disneyland for grownups. It’s all about the party, the toys, the women and the non-commitment. Things here seem disposable, and I guess to some, people do as well.

  7. aGirlNamedMe says:

    I didn’t read the list at Frisky concerning the difference between a man and a boy – I just know my definition….a man can commit. To whatever. Boys don’t.

    Men can be scary if we’re not ready to be a woman.

    xoxo
    AGirlNamedMe

  8. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Teifion
    As I said, I quite like The Frisky’s list. Sure, a lot if it was silly (I like silly, dammit). But there were a couple of things there that really spoke to me : “A boy wants what he wants until he gets it, and then he doesn’t want it anymore.” & “A boy never says he’s sorry.”
    -Global Patriot
    Yeah, I can really pick em. :-) I would agree with much of what jenmata said and add to it this (a story I have told before, but it bears repeating now) – a dear male friend of mine has repeatedly reminded me to stop dating men under 40 as men in NYC don’t get their shit together til then. They’re not even really expected to.
    -Miss SDee
    Amen. No projects for me – thank you very much.
    -ecletikfeel
    There is absolutely hope. I have lots of hope. But my eyes are WIDE open. I so love the phrase “hold and mold”, btw.
    -Anonymous
    In regards to me being SINgleGIRL, I refer you to my About Me http://www.sex-lies-dating.com/page/10885. It is a self-conscious, reclaiming of the word. You either get it or you don’t. And no, he didn’t fart. He just seemed a bit lacking in maturity. Like the kind of man who’d rather eat glass than say he was sorry. And I’d rather eat glass that date another one of those.
    -jenmata
    I agree with you about the product. There are too many grown people here in this city who still behave as if they were children, both men and women. I don’t really know if I’d say it was about the partying or toys or any of that. I have my own, kind of different theories as to why and I”m not in the mood to rant. But whatever the reason, it sucks.
    -AGirlNamedMe
    A very astute observation – it goes both ways, doesn’t it? A man who wants to commit can scare the crap out of his partner, just as a woman who wants to commit would scare the crap out of hers.

    Now, an apology to everyone in the comment thread who subscribed to it and had to read the complete silliness from earlier today. I am SO SORRY. As you probably know, I’m still trying to figure out what I want this blog to be and not be. There are a lot of things I don’t know – and very few I do know. One of the few things I do know is that I want it to be a pleasant place.

    I’m sure I’d get more hits each day if I encouraged everyone to be mean to each other and wrote about outrageous things. But I just want to write about my personal experience and thoughts and have people be relatively thoughtful and witty and kind. I’ve said as much. And so I ended up deleting a bunch of comments because I saw us going back down the unkind, unthoughtful path. I’m just not going to put up with it anymore.

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