I’m not going to go on one of my rants about experts and others idiots who write books about dating. I’m not. I’ve just been noticing lately a lot of articles and posts, both in blogs and mainstream publications about whether or not women should be waiting before having sex with a new guy.
Some of this buzz can be attributed to a couple of recent books that espouse the theory that women should wait, and for a good long time (months). But some of it is just good old-fashioned silliness of the, “once you have sex with a guy he won’t want you anymore” variety.
I’m not a big fan of rules. And I find the rules around dating and sex particularly objectionable. If I were some sweet, innocent young thing then maybe waiting a few months while I got to know a guy well might sound like a good plan. But we’re a couple of decades too late for that. And I personally don’t want to waste a lot of time on some guy who turns out to be bad in bed. Or just not compatible with me.
That doesn’t mean I jump into bed with every guy I meet right away. I have my own theory about waiting. I don’t want to wait too long (and then get attached to a guy only to find out he’s not a keeper), but at the same time, rushing into things might cloud my judgment (great sex tends to make me overlook a guy’s potential character flaws).
I have no clue what other people think about this (you know, you lovely normal folks who don’t write books). Sure, there are lots of people out there just looking to get laid (and there’s nothing wrong with that). But for those of us trying to find and build LTRs, what’s the norm?
Is patience a virtue? Do you wait until you’re sure you have feelings for a person? Or do you let the sex come first?
- I tend to have sex with new men/women early. Usually on the first or second date. (15 votes)
- I want to make sure I like them, sure, but I don’t “wait”. Usually the 3rd date or so. Rarely later than the 4th or 5th. (43 votes)
- It’s important to wait until you know someone well, otherwise your relationship will be based on sex. 2-3 months minimum. (16 votes)
- It depends. I don’t have a rule that I always follow. (43 votes)
- Not me, I’m a virgin. (4 votes)
- Thank god I don’t have to deal with this anymore. I have a significant other. (13 votes)
Tags: dating, polls, sex, virgin