Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Some Things Are Worth Repeating – Be Safe

I know that only a small percentage of my readers read the comment threads (hey, it’s your loss, sometimes the are the best part of the post).  Well, I take my very seriously, try to respond appropriately and even take people’s advice when I think it’s appropriate (some of the changes I’ve made to the site over time have been made because of reader’s ).

Anyway, yesterday someone wrote in that I should talk to guys on the phone before meeting them out on a date.  That I should be using those phone calls to screen guys, to gather info about them, as a matter of .  I think that’s a load of crap.  A guy could just as easily lie on the phone, as he can via email.

I do take my safety very seriously.  I’ve written about this before.  I don’t think I need to do background checks on guys or go to any other extraordinary  measures.  Just use some common sense.

Here are some of the steps I always take (for the full list – check out this link):

  1. Make sure you have an email account that is set up expressly for the purposes of .  You can also use this account for online shopping, if you want.  Do not have this account traceable to you in any way.  Do not use your last name on the account.
  2. Do not give your last name out if you are -able.  Not everybody is, but most people are.  You do not want people to know your place of employment until your are ready to disclose that information.
  3. Do not use your landline for phonecalls until you are sure you want someone in your life.

Implied in this list that I always meet men in public places.  Who doesn’t know that – good god!


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6 to “Some Things Are Worth Repeating – Be Safe”


  1. starangel82 says:

    I’d like to add let someone know you are going on a date. I always tell my sister or my best friend I am going to meet a guy I met online and where we are meeting. Then I send them a text when I get home. Just incase the guy turns out to be a crazed axe murderer, at least they have some idea where to start looking for my body…

  2. iamalejandra says:

    I do that too!! I give my best friend all the info I have about him and I tell her where we’re going to meet, etc etc. Just in case.

  3. SINgleGIRL says:

    -starangel82 and iamalejandra
    I can totally see how that would make sense. I don’t go that far, but then again, I’m traveling by foot and public transportation and leaving separately, all on very crowded streets. I think that I would feel less safe if I was dealing with cars and parking lots. I’m not saying I’m perfectly safe and I have no need to tell people where I’m going, I just don’t FEEL the need.

  4. starangel82 says:

    I can see how that makes sense too. If I lived in a busy place like NYC, I would probably feel the same way. Since I live in backwoods, middle of no-where, I don’t. Yes, I meet the guy separately and we leave separately, but there aren’t busy streets or busy parking lots. We certainly don’t have public transportation!

    I guess it all boils down to being smart and knowing your environment.

  5. Jennifer-from-NY says:

    Hi again! I really appreciated these tips. I just started online dating (well, dating really if truth be told) and never would have thought of the first tip. And I just went ahead and made one. A lot of your advice and experience have been helpful. Thanks!

  6. Simone Grant says:

    -Jennifer-from-NY
    Good luck darling. There are a lot of great guys out there. And a lot of asses. Be safe and have fun.