Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

WTF Reports – WTF?

So, as you all know, I’m currently using .  It’s my second time around with this service.  The first time I tried it was a total waste of time.  But now, well, things seem to be going a little better (although the guy I went out with last Friday was a OKC guy).  I should have at least 3 or 4 dates with guys I’ve met there in the next week or two.

Anyway, they have this feature called a report.  I’d never really noticed it before today.  But then a little while ago I got a system generated message saying that one of the guys I’d been communicating with had requested a with me.  Or for me.  Or something.  So I said yes, because, you know, ?

These reports compare you to the person in question.  Me and this guy, according to the tests we took, we’re 90% compatible.  So the WTF report showed us the 10% of the questions (or whatever) on which our answers showed potential incompatibility.

It was enlightening.  And a little freaky.  Like now I know that I’m a little bit more sexually open (and maybe experienced?) than him. And a couple of other things that I’m not sure I need or want to know before I even meet a guy.  And he knows too.  This stuff about me.  We both know.  And I’m thinking, damn, this is weird.

Or maybe this is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Maybe it’s great that I know this now, before we even meet.  And he knows. Maybe this can save me a bunch of time.  Maybe I should be requesting WTF reports on every guy I’m even a little bit interested in.  Because really, do I want to be wasting my time with some guy who’s not a good fit for me sexually?  Hell no.  Maybe this info could be helpful?

Or maybe THIS is the true definition of ?

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11 to “WTF Reports – WTF?”

  1. CHFBrian says:

    …or maybe it’s a bit of light-hearted nonsense that shouln’t occupy a lot of thought. I like and use OKCupid, but trying to make any kind of informed decision based on their metrics is a bit silly. Who knows why someone answered one question on way – I know there are a bunch of questions that really depended on my particular mood at the time, and a bunch of others I answered without even thinking much.

    Much like astrology, I can’t imagine taking seriously someone who puts a lot of stock in OKCupid responses.

  2. CHFBrian says:

    Also, apparently I can’t type. I need to proof-read these responses better.

  3. starangel82 says:

    Sounds interesting so long as people answer honestly. Could be a good thing. But like chfrbrian said, some people will answer depending on their mood and some will answer without thinking. Some will answer questions about sex just to make themselves feel better (or seem better?).

    Good lord, am I making sense?

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Yes starangel,
    You’re making sense. You usually do.
    I was half poking fun at it/half serious when I wrote the post (I guess that didn’t come across – better work on my sense of humor – I guess I’m too cheerful today). I don’t really put any stock into these tests, although the idea of knowing someones attitudes re certain things sexual in advance sounds awfully good to me.

  5. CHFBrian says:

    I know, I didn’t mean to poke at you directly – I was speaking generally.

    I think knowing some of this stuff up front could definitely be a good thing, I just think OKC WTF reports are a really bad way of gleaning that information. I’d just assume not use them at all, which is why I stopped bothering to accept requests for them. I think they have the potential to do more harm than good.

    Then again, I’m the kind of person that thinks pretty much [i]anything[/i] about a person is workable in the right circumstance, so this kind of attribute-based matchmaking doesn’t sit well with me at all. I actually designed a similar system back in college and would use it on my friends as a goof. It was this whole complex survey and weighted-average matchmaking system that ended up with a compatibility score. Before I start sounding like a loon, it was something we did while drinking in a dorm room.

    Anyway, among the many things I learned was that pretty much everything is negotiable. Yes, you can design your perfect mate in your head based on a thousand factors, but then you can meet someone the next day that confounds everything you thought you wanted to find in another person. It’s why I have such a hard time coming up with more than a couple of “dealbreakers,” and even the ones I do are pretty tongue-in-cheek. I wonder if it’s hard for some people to meet people they deem to be compatible because they might have such a narrow idea of what compatible means? Just a thought.

  6. SINgleGIRL says:

    I’ve heard other people say that just about anything is negotiable. Any maybe for many folks it is. I don’t by it, though. I know that the most miserable I’ve ever been in a relationship was when I was being treated well by someone I liked a lot and cared a lot about but who wasn’t meeting some of my most basic needs.
    We tried to negotiate those things. But the reality is that I am who I am and I need what I need. And there are some things I can’t compromise on, even if I really want to (and I know this because I’ve tried – really, really tried). Maybe that means I get to be alone for the rest of my life? Who knows.
    I’ll assume you’re not pointing a finger at me and saying – look, she’s impossible to please, It’s not your style. It HAS been said, though. People can say what they want. I’m comfortable with my truth. And I do think it would be awesome to know some things in advance. I just don’t trust language (much less an online dating test) to provide me with that info. Some things you just have to live.

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    Damn – talk about not being able to type. Serves me right – supposed to be working.

  8. BadenLink says:

    SG & CHFBrian, I think both of you bring up great points on this topic. Please forgive ahead of time for any of my mistakes because I am on my cell phone waiting for a meeting. I have never done any of the dating sites–maybe I should–I guess I would have to know more about the WTF reports to make a fair comment about them or take them too serious. If I were to get a 95% match back–but the one area we were not compatible in was lets say…hmmm…. sex. Then I might I have to think real hard about wanting to meet this person if it said if they get sex once a week that is fine by them when I would need it like 14 times (just for example :-). I have been in that relationship with a GREAT girl–but frankly the sex was like Haley’s Comet–does not come around often and really it is not that special.

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    Umm – yeah. And it’s not just the amount of sex, but well, there’s no need to get graphic. Let’s just say that not everyone is sexually compatible with everyone else. And that sexual compatibility is nonnegotiable for me. And you, it seems.

  10. onedatewonder says:

    Heh, this is exactly how I found out that a guy I’d already agreed to go on a date with was a virgin. Seriously. Honestly, I wouldn’t have gone out with him again even without knowing that (after a first date, that is), but that little tidbit of knowledge caused me to cancel the date before it even happened. Those things are just dangerous. No one should know all that before a first date. Just….. no.

  11. SINgleGIRL says:

    OMG!!!!! I totally agree. Although, like you, I would’ve canceled the date. I can deal with a lot. But I don’t do virgins. Talk about TMI. I am so rejecting all future WTF report requests from now on.