One of the hardest things for me, about dating, is figuring out what to tell men about myself and when. Something that might sound like TMI on the 2nd date could be viewed as essential information a couple of months down the line (as in, how could you NOT tell me that?).
I’ll admit to being pretty bad at this. I don’t ever lie, but I do withhold a lot of facts. Mainly because I think that most guys don’t want to know stuff that doesn’t directly affect them. And even when it does affect them, sometimes they just don’t want to know the uncomfortable stuff.
But I’ve been thinking lately how differently some of my relationships might have gone (I’m not pining over anyone or wishing I could turn back time or have anyone back. Everything worked out the way it should.) if only I’d done a better job communicating some of my personal baggage* early on. You know, before it was too late.
I’d love to know what you think about this. When’s the right time to talk about the hard stuff?
*By personal baggage I mean: complicated family issues, health stuff, personal finances/work issues, sexual quirks, the fact that I have a blog, other stuff that makes my stomach churn.
- I think it’s important to get the hard stuff out in the open before you start sleeping with each other. (6 votes)
- Wait a little while, until you’re secure in your feelings and your relationship. But not too long. (13 votes)
- Your baggage is your baggage. Keep it to yourself until you’ve been together a while. Keep things on a need to know basis. (4 votes)
- That’s a mixed bag of baggage. Some needs to come out right away. Other things can wait. (32 votes)
Tags: Baggage, polls, tmi