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Lame, Lame, Lame

Overwhelmed with stuff today but sneaking a moment to write this.

I made my bed and I now I have to lie in it.  I had that on Friday night.  No big deal.  I have lots of bad dates (too many, but that’s a whole other thing).  He emailed me promptly the next morning asking me out again and I didn’t reply.  Very unlike me but I was having one of those, I’m taking the day off, kind of days.  A few of my smart readers pointed out that that wasn’t wise as he might mistake that for an open door and continue to contact me.

Well, last night he called and left a message AND sent an email saying how anxious he is to settle down and get married.

So now I have to reject him after he’s really gone out there and stuck his neck out.

I feel bad.  It would have been so much better if I’d just sent him a polite email the morning after our dating saying that it was nice meeting him but that I just wasn’t feeling it.

I was jerk, and now I have to be an even bigger jerk.  Lame.


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10 to “Lame, Lame, Lame”


  1. Hypatia says:

    “AND sent an email saying how anxious he is to settle down and get married.”—

    Um… THAT is more than a little scary and so beyond the realm of normal social interaction that I would have no compunction about kicking him to the curb.

    NEXT!

  2. recklessstudio says:

    Um, you’re not a jerk. You weren’t feeling it and he’s already putting in too much effort and being borderline creepy.

    Send it soon.

  3. lostplum says:

    wow!
    (that’s all i got!)

  4. Veka says:

    Definitely creepy. That’s not exactly something you should say to a woman after ONE date. Don’t feel bad at ALL for ignoring him. Now’s the time to send the “thanks, but no thanks” email.

  5. browolf says:

    Its a fact that if a women doesnt tell me something important straight or at all, it almost seems a natural process to fill in supposed gaps myself and if I were already misreading the situation, then additional filler is inevitably going follow my previous lines of thought. Its kind of a mental defence mechanism. maintain sanity by making things make sense. Trouble is at that point anything is possible…His odd email implies some thinking on his part over why you’ve gone quiet. like he thinks you think he’s not serious enough or something.

  6. starangel82 says:

    While I do agree that maybe you should have replied to him a little sooner, his voice mail message also gives me the willies. While browolf has a very insightful point, I’m with everyone else as to dealing with this guy. Send the good-bye email and send it now. And don’t feel bad about it.

  7. queenieNYC says:

    I was RIGHT!!! I love being right. (Not that I don’t feel for you, but, you know…sometimes I gotta take it where I can get it.) ;-)

    This guy seems pretty dense to me – pretty terrible at reading people. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt here and thinking he’s reading into your behavior based on some prior experience he’s had. In other words, maybe some other girl didn’t get back in touch not because she didn’t like him, but because she thought he wasn’t ready for anything serious.

    Either that, or he’s a little nuts. Either way, send the reject email. Soon.

  8. sfsingleguy says:

    “Well, last night he called and left a message AND sent an email saying how anxious he is to settle down and get married.”

    That’s called desperate unless you’ve been together for a year.

    On the other hand, I just got broken up with by email, from someone I was dating for 3 months. Reminds me of you and Mr. Potential, except you had class :) Guess I’ll be reading this blog a lot more again :)

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Hypatia
    I did it tonight and did feel a little guilty. Sure, his email was a little scary but I left the door open for him.
    -recklessstudio
    Thanks for saying I’m not a jerk. I try to hold myself to pretty high standards of behavior (towards others) and feel I blew it this time.
    -lostplum
    EXACTLY!!
    -Veka
    Yep, creepy. And sad. This should serve as a lesson to all of us. :-)
    -browolf
    You are probably right. He was trying to explain my silence to himself in a way that made sense and protected his own feelings. Ugh. Always better to communicate. Always. ps-welcome to the blog darling, I don’t recall seeing you comment before – but then, I am going a bit senile.
    -starangel82
    Gives me the willies. What a great way to put it.
    -queenieNYC
    Yep, you were 100% right. You called it. I was a big weenie this weekend and shirked my dating responsibilities. Bad me,
    -sfsingleguy
    I’m sorry to hear about your breakup. That sucks. And I hate break ups by email. After 5 dates that’s pretty inexcusable. Well, welcome back :-)

  10. alishad says:

    Dude, everyone deserves a day off from the internets. I hate when people expect email to replied to immediately! He should have waited for you to respond and not gone all crazy/creepy on you.