I’m going to get so much shit for writing this, but I don’t care. It’s true and it’s what I’m thinking now and I don’t even think it’s all that mean or controversial. But if I hurt anyone’s feelings then let me say, “sorry”, in advance.
I had the opportunity to catch up with one of my best friends yesterday morning. He lives in another city and because of our crazy lives and schedules we only talk a few times a month. This makes me sad because there was a time, back in our 20s and early 30s, when we talked almost every day.
Anyway, we started with the serious details of our lives, the important stuff, and eventually got around to my stupid dating life. He knows about the blog and reads it, but was a couple of days behind. I told him about my bad date on Friday night and we both had a good laugh about it. And then, kind of through the back door, the subject of marriage came up.
And he said something to the effect that I really didn’t want to get married. Because all of the women that he and I know in NY who got married in recent years were marrying guys who weren’t worthy of them and that I was too good to do that. He then pointed out a few specifics and I had to agree with him. Great women (beautiful, smart, accomplished) married to completely average guys (ok looking, seemingly not that bright).
You see, there is this phenomena, where some women get to a certain age (frequently 35+) and they realize that their time is up. They recognize that they are no longer a hot commodity on the market and so they start to make very strategic decisions in regards to dating and mating. Sometimes it’s because they want kids. Othertimes it’s a matter of security or not wanting to be alone anymore.
We’ve seen a lot of these. A lot. And I’m not saying the women were wrong in the choices they’ve made (although, there was one bride who was heard saying, while drunk, the night before her wedding, that she didn’t love the guy and didn’t want to marry him – and yeah she did go through with it). Only those women know (and maybe their husbands) for sure.
But my friend seems 100% certain that I’m never going to walk down that path. That I don’t have it in me. He’s probably right. I’m too stubborrn. Too headstrong. Too sexual. Too a lot of things, I guess.
Tags: bad date, blog, friends, marriage, nyc, settle, sex, wedding