Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

I’m thinking of meeting with a .  I’ve been thinking about it for a while.  Not actively.  It’s just been one of those random ideas that occasionally pops up in my mind, like, “you should eat more blueberries”.

Let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger.  I’m not going to tell you the exact date of my , but I will say that I’m a Gemini (I’m so not into astrology, BTW.  Oooh, that’s another one of my dealbreakers – guys who are really into astrology.  I met a guy on Chemistry.com who seemed great and then he wanted to know my sign and other stuff for charting and well -NO).  Anyway, I’ll be 39 in a few months.  I can still remember my 34th party and my making a big fuss about how that was going to be the year that I was going to meet the right guy.  And then it wasn’t and I was fine with it.  But I’ll be 39 soon and so maybe it’s time for me to do something more radical.

I’ve done a little research on this.  There are a lot of different matchmakers out there.   Some of them scare the crap out of me. And I have to be realistic and know that some of them would just put me in the “too old” pile. There was an article a few days ago in YourTango.com about a Matchmaker that actually seemed sane and cool.  She specifically said that some of her clients were older and as I’m interested in dating guys in their 40s then maybe she would be the right person for me to call.

Still, I wish there was someone I could talk to who’s used a matchmaker.  I want to hear what it was like. I don’t know why.  I just do. I’ve tried Tweeting and asking for sources, several times.  No one has come forward.  I don’t know if this is a sign that I should back off, or not.


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12 to “Matchmaker, Matchmaker”


  1. Anonymous says:

    I say go for it. Really, I don’t think you have anything to loose, right? I don’t have any experience with a matchmaker, but I’m sure reading your experience will be interesting ;) bobbyboy

  2. iamalejandra says:

    Go for it, let me know how it works out, and if it does you’ll have to give me his/her number. =)

  3. @periken says:

    just make sure the matchmaker’s jewish. i am by no means religious, but there are things you get a jew to do for you: medicine, taxes, and meddling.
    Here, you are of course, asking for the meddling, but if you grew up with a jewish grandmother, the matches are lined up from the get-go. I am having many, “I should’ve listened to my nana” moments as of late.
    Look at Patty what’s her face-millionaire matcher. Jew.

  4. Veka says:

    Is using a matchmaker any more expensive than some of those online dating sites? I’m not saying that money is an issue, just curiosity… It’s funny that @periken mentioned the millionaire matchmaker because as soon as I started reading this post, I thought of her. Maybe you should call her and you might end up marrying a millionaire ;)

  5. dazediva says:

    If you can find a matchmaker like Will Smith in Hitch – then it’s all smooth sailing =) The idea of a matchmaker is pretty cool – a bit more personalised to your needs than just another online dating website.

    I come from an Indian background, and like @periken said, the Indian grandmothers & aunts along with any other female relative is already trying to hook you up from the time you hit your teens !! As far as astrology goes – you’d be surprised at how much it actually makes sense to consider matching your horoscope with someone – at least you know your compatibility.

    I never believed in it – but over the years (perhaps being slightly brainwashed) and having watched couples who have had their horoscopes read before getting married (I know you are initially looking for a date before thinking of marriage) seem to be more happier.

    If it makes you feel any better – my mother has given my ‘profile’ or ‘biodata’ as they say in India to a Priest (traditionally called a ‘pandit’) and it only took him a year or so to actually ‘find’ some guy who would be ideal for me LOL The guy in question has now phoned me twice – and we’re yet to meet – but one thing I know – this guy wants something serious as opposed to the idiots I have met out in India for the 1.5 years. Now its a different thing altogether if I am interested in him when we eventually meet

    So I suppose there’s no harm in trying a matchmaker or two or three .. and see where it takes you =)

  6. 20forty says:

    I say why not? Wish I could help with resources, but unfortunately I can’t. Be sure to let us know how it turns out.

  7. aGirlNamedMe says:

    I say go for it….people generally value that for which they are charged. In this case, I think it means that the men you meet will be more serious…more invested in the process and the outcome.

    I say for it for perfectly selfish reasons, too. I want to hear allllllll about how it goes.

    xoxo
    AGirlNamedMe

  8. SINgleGIRL says:

    -bobbyboy
    Nothing to lose? I guess not. Just the last few shreds of dignity and sanity.
    -iamalejandra
    As always, I’ll report the truth. And if it’s a godd experience I’ll be giving out the number to anyone who wants it.
    @periken
    Welcome to the blog. The Millionaire Matchmaker is another one who scares the crap out of me. Even assuming that some things are exageratted for TV, I’d run like hell if someone treated me the way she treats the women who come into her office.
    -Veka
    It can be very, very expensive. But in many cases the man is the only one who pays. I have to look into this a little deeper as not all matchmakers have the same system but many have an old fashioned – guys pay- system. And they pay a lot.
    -dazeddiva
    I think there’s a lot to be said for modern arranged marriages, where the bride and groom can say yeah or nea. My parents were introduced by a family friend and were engaged a month later. I don’t see how that’s much different. Just a little less organized.
    -20forty
    It seems there is no one who can help out. It’s taken multiple tours of twitter in RTs. Maybe this is reallly a rare thing for people to do. Or to be open about? Hmmmm.
    -AGirlNamedme
    That’s an interesting way of looking at it. A guy who shelled out a few thousand dollars for a matchmaker certainly is going to be “invested” in the outcome. A lot more than some shlub on Plenty of Fish.

  9. derek7272 says:

    Don’t look at it as losing your dignity … think of it as, you’re doing research for your blog and, at worst, coming back to us with a funny story to tell.

    Buuuttttttt it looks like that Premiere Match woman charges both men and women — and like $5000 apiece, according to this USAToday story. I was a bit curious so looked at Janis Spindel’s website before I realized she was the matchmaker you said “scared” you. … She only charges women like $25 to be in her pool of applicants, compared to $25,000 (!!!!) for the dudes. Somehow I’m guessing guys willing to pay that amount of money are probably looking for a 25-year-old former beauty queen …

  10. SINgleGIRL says:

    -derek7272
    I knew about the crazy lady’s (Janis Spindel) prices and those are actually pretty typical for the high end of the industry. Bizarre, hugh? I didn’t realize Premiere was that high. I figured that they were more progressive and charged both parties but 5K? I thought they were further down the food chain. Damn.

  11. derek7272 says:

    what about trying something like speeddating (i’ve tried that) or lunch dating etc?

  12. SINgleGIRL says:

    I know a few people who’ve done the “It’s just lunch” thing and the feedback I got was not positive. I have nothing against speed dating in theory – it is a demographic thing. The events tend to trend younger, as most things do. I have gone to a few singles oriented parties that were fine. I think I might start to hit that circuit. It’s such a big an expensive circuit. Which is why a matchmaker is an appealing idea. Anyway…