Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Dozens of Dealbreakers (for Fun)

In my last post I said, in reference to someone who a lot, “It’s one of those dozens of little things that make up my preferences and desires and dealbreakers.”   An anonymous commenter questioned the fact that I could have dozens of dealbreakers.

Well, it’s a rainy night and I’m in a weird mood so I decided to have some fun with this.  Here is it, my dozens of dealbreakers.

  • Bad in bed
  • Chronically bad breath
  • Bad table manners
  • Bad manners in general (rude to waitstaff, doormen, friends, family – just plain rude)
  • Lives with his parents
  • Picky eater
  • Gym rat
  • Drinks too much
  • Drinks girly drinks
  • Untalented artist (yeah, I decided it did matter)
  • Extremely religious (any religion)
  • Never travelled outside the US
  • Younger than me
  • More than 14 years older than me
  • Shorter than me
  • More than 14 inches taller than me
  • Obsessed with celebrities and celebrity culture
  • Obsessed with becoming a father/having a family
  • Momma’s boy
  • Voted for Bush
  • Doesn’t believe in evolution
  • Thinks the Da Vinci Code was a great book
  • Drives an SUV
  • Low sex drive

So there’s an off the top of my head list of two dozen dealbreakers and quite frankly I didn’t even scratch the surface.  No, I’m not impossible to please.  Just honest.  How about you – what are some of your dealbreakers?

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37 to “Dozens of Dealbreakers (for Fun)”


  1. Miss SDee says:

    Bad hands/poorly kept fingernails (shudder)
    Bad/missing teeth
    Frugality beyond levels of social acceptability
    Light wash jeans

  2. @luckychica says:

    add to the list, thinks stupid racial stereotypes are funny…..that’s the worst. Also, went on a number of dates with guys who all said, ‘you know that seinfeld episode where…’
    delete.

  3. ShaySpot says:

    Really? No girly drinks? I kinda admire a guy that cares more about having a tasty drink than about looking macho (ESP if he’ll let me eat the fruit that comes with his drink) ^_^

  4. Sexorcism says:

    Combovers, obvious toupee, polyester doubleknit pants…

  5. SINgleGIRL says:

    See, I knew this was going to be fun. Those are all good ones, too. Yeah ShaySpot, I’m afraid the girly drink thing is a real one for me. It’s OK if we’re talking about a Pina Colada on an actual beach, but otherwise no.

  6. Singlegal says:

    Oh, I totally completely second the TEETH thing. A dentist is a beautiful thing. I also agree with the girlie drinks. I dated one guy who only ordered “Screwdrivers” and I’m pretty sure it’s because it was the only alcoholic drink he knew. I also have to throw in mentions hanging out strip clubs within the first week of knowing him. I don’t have too much against strip clubs, but a little mystery, eh, boys?
    Thanks for the post!

  7. PiscesInPurple says:

    Great list. The only one I wonder about is drives an SUV. Is that an environmentalist thing?

  8. Karen Glidden says:

    smokes
    hates animals
    doesn’t know the difference between there, their, they’re or grammatical catastrophes of the like
    plays video games 24/7
    gets manicures-I’m sorry, I appreciate well groomed fingers, but if I don’t have time for a weekly mani, then neither should you!

  9. starangel82 says:

    Oh you read some of mine on my blog, so you know how I feel about some of those. But everyone has their own lovable, quirky, sometimes strange deal breakers.

  10. queenie_nyc says:

    - Small vocabulary or words used incorrectly
    - Generally dirty or smelly
    - Sexists
    - Homophobes
    - Thinks theatre (or art, or whatever) is “girly”
    - Not willing to try new foods
    - Only drinks beer
    - Hates animals
    - Condescending
    - Not funny
    - Cruel (I once dated a guy who played tricks on his roommate for no apparent reason – it turned me off more than pretty much anything, ever)

  11. Tokyo Cowgirl says:

    My one and only deal breaker : stupidity

  12. ____PK says:

    grrrrrr can’t believe no one said SNORING. If you don’t think it’s a dealbreaker, then move in with one of these monsters. The SUV can be hidden in the garage but the acoustics on the next pillow are unbearable…
    also, found out on valentines day many moons ago, that the man i was seeing would not be seen anymore… he said, “what? you think we came from monkeys?!!!!” …………and goodnight.

  13. PiscesInPurple says:

    Ooo. *lightbulb*
    I thought I didn’t really have a dealbreaker, but I do ->
    Fans of Rush Limbaugh need not apply.

  14. derek7272 says:

    Hmmm… I used to have an SUV, a real beater I got for like $500 on Craigslist. Sooo much fun to drive. Also enjoyed Da Vinci Code and do go to the gym fairly frequently, although I dunno what qualifies as a gym “rat.”

    Anyway … I agree with you on the rudeness, bad in bed (I think that’s what you meant) and extremely religious dealbreakers, but the rest of the stuff you mentioned, I just don’t really care about. I sorta think you could miss out if you let someone’s odd quirks be a dealbreaker. Like one of my best friends dated a girl for awhile — a smart, personable girl — who didn’t believe in evolution. I was a little shocked, but does it really matter? How often do you sit around discussing evolution anyway? As long as someone isn’t dogmatic, closed-minded or self-righteous about their beliefs, I don’t really care what their politics are, whether they like Rachel Maddow or Rush Limbaugh, or their or views on other hot-button issues….

    Similarly there are pretty cheap cures for bad breath and snoring…

    On the other hand maybe I am being a tad hypocritical as it’s not like I’m not v. picky myself when it comes to ruling out girls for not being thin…

  15. iamalejandra says:

    Wears steel toed shoes in the summer and he’s not at work.

  16. Shannia says:

    bad teeth, swears too much, smokes, lives in the suburbs,doesnt like my cat and doesnt speak French.

  17. 20forty says:

    Many of mine are the same as yours. Definitely drinks too much, narcissistic, condescending. Oh I have to agree with Shannia and say doesn’t like my cats.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Random question: Are all liberals also atheists and evolutionists?

  19. queenie_nyc says:

    And here we have the less-fun part of the thread, where people pick at other people’s dealbreakers…so I feel compelled to get all serious, or something.

    What’s interesting about these is that they’re not dealbreakers because the behavior itself is annoying – at least, not for me. For me, my dealbreakers are dealbreakers because they are early warning signs of things that I know I’m ultimately not compatible with.

    So, for instance – someone who’s a homophobe is probably generally intolerant of all things “other,” something I find very unattractive – and I’d probably drive them crazy, too. Similarly, someone who hates animals is probably too nitpicky (if they think animals are “messy”) for me. And so on and so forth.

    They’re just early indicators, and they all have to be taken in context of the actual person.

  20. BBsBlazed says:

    Wow!! Long list, ladies. Do you wonder why men are not chiming in? Because as Steve Harvey says in his book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” There are three things men want from women: support, loyalty and “the cookie” (sex).

  21. ecletikfeel says:

    Bad teeth, gross looking finger nails, thinks he’s smarter than he really is, a bad speller

  22. aGirlNamedMe says:

    I agree with lots here, but there’s one I have that I’ve not seen — loudness. In bed.

    He moaned loudly, he screeeeeamed at climax, he (seriously) shouted dirty things.

    Don’t get me wrong…I like a little talking, some heavy breathing, a moan, even a burst of glee at the end there (I’m so punny). But no screaming men in my bed, please.

    Thank you very much.

    xoox
    AGirlNamedMe

  23. Lindsaysmom1220 says:

    Bad/ missing teeth, bad grammer, doesnt like beer, doesnt like dogs, isnt a christian, is pro-life, gym rat, mommas boy, cruel, doesnt like/want kids, thinks global warming is a farce, likes retarded movies (norbit, larry the cable guy:health inspector), doesnt put family first, uncultured, doesnt read books, eats with his mouth open/bad table manners, rude, bad kisser, bad in bed, doesnt like baseball, cubs fan, obnoxious, overly jelous, BO/ bad personal hygene, isnt respectful to women….shit no wonder Im single!

  24. CarmenP says:

    If he is poor
    If he hasn’t any cultural background
    I totally agree with the teeth thing, that’s just disgusting!
    If he has no sense of style and wears sneakers with white socks!
    If he has no sixpack and drinks beer! ieuw

  25. CHFBrian says:

    I can’t date picky eaters. Also bad kissers.

  26. SINgleGIRL says:

    Thank you, thank you EVERYONE. I have the bestest readers in the world! And welcome to all of the new folks who joined us for this question. I hope to see more of you.

    I am so glad that you had fun with this (well, most of you). You came up with SO MANY great ones (I think my favorite might be Tokyo Cowgirl’s “stupidity”, as it covers so many other things).
    -queenie_nyc, I realized after I read your list that I left off most of my real dealbreakers (homophobes, sexists, men with limited vocabulary). It is a shame that some people didn’t see the title of the post and the words “for fun” in it and don’t get that sometimes it’s just good to vent about this stuff. But then, some people don’t get lots of things. I think your explanation, though unnecessary, was great.
    -piscesinpurple
    I live in NYC and so I just don’t see why a guy would need an SUV here (or anywhere, but that’s a whole other conversation). They just seem wasteful and silly and impossible to park. And yeah, not so great for the environment either, but then I don’t drive at all and think cars should be banned from Manhattan so my opinions on that are a little radical.
    -BBsBlazed
    What a load of crap. I have a lot of male friends and they have some insanely ridiculous dealbreakers including stuff related to age, body type, hobbies, pets, kids, habits. But in general, women are more honest with themselves and can have fun sharing this stuff with others. It’s a release. If all guys want is support, loyalty and sex then let them get a dog and a hooker.

  27. Anonymous says:

    I guess the standard things to start: Bad hygiene, none or little morals, lack of communication and no sense of humor. Oh yeah, and if she is too into herself or belittling of others, then it’s a no go. Bobbyboy

  28. Veka says:

    I’m a little late to this one… but let’s see here… If he’s a slob, if he hates animals (I have a lot of pets), if he does drugs, if my family doesn’t like him, if he’s too self-involved, younger than me or old enough to have fathered me, shorter than me, divorced or has kids (I’m too young for that!)… and last but not least, long distance (been there, done that).

  29. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Thanks Bobbyboy and Veka for chiming in. You know it’s never too late to comment here.

  30. Mimi09 says:

    …my favorite…back hair.
    And how about ‘never stops sweating?’

    There isn’t a pair of shoes that could run me out of the room fast enough…

  31. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Mimi09
    hahahahahahahaha, well said.

  32. Shannia says:

    well you can always wax off the excess hair. but I dated a guy that couldnt stop sweating when we had sex and seriously it was just gross, the relationship didnt last.

  33. wecamealongwaybaby says:

    In response to anonymous : atheists aren’t all liberals

    my biggest dealbreakers, thinks women should understand men are the boss, men that are not kind to animals, men that are only nice to people that can help them, religious fanatics, rudeness, no self respect

    posted by Anonymous
    Fri, 03/27/2009 – 6:23am
    Random question: Are all liberals also atheists and evolutionists?

  34. mocona says:

    I really have to pick “Stupidity”…
    I had one date with a girl, and this girl is so stupid (although she had a great body) I can’t talk about anything with her. I tried TV Shows, she don’t watch TV. I tried books, she don’t read books. I tried almost anything that I know, she just stood there cluelessly. I just don’t connect with stupidity. :(

  35. greasyfungus says:

    You left out annoying, pretentious, long-winded, and boring.

  36. Jennifer-from-NY says:

    Most of mine were said but- crossdresses. I learned that the hard way.

  37. DentalBabe says:

    Just came across this post and thought it TOO funny. Most of mine are on here. At the top of the list is smoking, followed closely by boring, bad teeth, bad dresser, bad in bed (really hate that), snobby, no sense of humor (which is where boring comes in), smells bad, too countryish, wants babies, hates animals…..Dang, I could go on forever. Yeah, weird that I’m still single….