Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

You Are What You Drink

I admit it.  I’m part of the problem.  The newspaper business is dying and I’m one of the reasons why (OK – I know that the problems of the newspaper industry are far more complex than just the fact that more people are reading the online editions.  There’s the decline in ad revenues, the cost of newsprint, the fact that they failed to properly monetize their online sites, etc.).  I used to get the delivered to my apartment.  And then a few years ago I started to read the Times online and well, that was the end of that.  I actually prefer reading the paper online.  I find that I’m a much more focused reader that way.  I go straight for the sections that are more important to me and don’t waste a lot of time flipping through pages of things I’m not interested in.

I like some of the newer features of the website, some of the blogs and the regular video features.  But until this week I had not been a fan of their Proof blog.  I thought it was just kind of silly.  And then last night I noticed this piece called Your Signature Cocktail, and all kinds of bells went off in my mind.

I have always been, and suppose I always will be, a drink snob.  I drink big girl .  I’m a lightweight, so I’m only going to have one or two (which is a pretty recent thing, btw, I drank more when I was younger), but I’m going to have one or two real .  Whiskey, scotch or bourbon. A Manhattan or another traditional cocktail. A good glass of  or a nice (good quality) cold beer. No frozen peach margaritas for me.  Or cosmos.  Or daiquiris.  Nothing that tastes like candy.  I’m a strong believer that booze should taste like booze.

Now, I wasn’t always so discerning.  I can still remember back when I was 19 and had started to hang out in bars for the first time.  Well, a bar.  I went to in a town and there was one bar in town that me and my friends considered cool and hip and worth trying to get into.  One Friday night a friend and I got all dressed up in our party best and talked ourselves in (we didn’t have fake ID) and once in decided that the “mature” thing to drink would be white russians.  I have no idea why.  I just know that that became our bar and our drink and over the course of the year we each gained about 15 lbs in white russian weight (they are so fattening).

Anyway, any who wants any hopes of ever getting into my pants best have matured past his own “white russian phase”.  Because of all of the things I pay attention to on dates, what a orders to drink ranks pretty high on the list of things that matter.  No, I’m  not joking.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely cool with teetotalers.  There are lots of good reasons for people to abstain, the number one being that they’re in recovery and I’m fine with that.  But if a guy’s going to drink, he better not order something wussy.  Because I’d consider that a dealbreaker.


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22 to “You Are What You Drink”


  1. queenie_nyc says:

    White Russians just make me think of the Big Lebowski! And of two of my closest friends, who are now married. For their first date, she invited him over to watch the Big Lebowski, in bathrobes, while drinking White Russians.

    I’m like you, a traditionalist when it comes to booze. My go-to cocktails are a Manhattan, a martini (gin, darling, is the only liquor that belongs in a martini), or a gin and tonic in the summer.

    And now, I’m thirsty. :-)

  2. derek7272 says:

    !!!!!!!

  3. starangel82 says:

    Oh the days of strawberry daquiris and being cool with my frothy, frozen beverage. Back when days were simple. Alright… moving on. I was out on a date once and the guy ordered a wine cooler. (Not kidding.) Of course the county our date was in didn’t allow hard liquor in their county (liquor laws around here are so screwed up), so beer or wine coolers were the only option. But he ordered the wine cooler! Need I say more?

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    -queenie_nyc
    Damn that sounds like a fun date (though maybe not 1st date?). I wish I could say we were being ironic or thinking of that movie but I was 19 a really LONG time ago. I have no idea what we were thinking other than that they tasted like melted ice cream and we could drink 5 or 6 or 8 and not even realize it until we were so drunk we could barely walk. Ah, youth.
    -derek7272
    Does that comment mean you approve?

  5. SINgleGIRL says:

    -starangel82
    Oh my! A wine cooler. If he didn’t like beer he would have been so much better off with a soft drink. Still, I’m sure you were polite and didn’t laugh in his face. :-)

  6. aGirlNamedMe says:

    I could have been saved from a lot of trouble. An ex? Sloe Gin Fizz.

    Good god.

  7. FitDarcie says:

    #1- I still buy the newspaper and read it that way. I love it. I read it on the subway, so I feel like I’m productive while commuting
    #2- I kinda judge a man by what they drink on the first date. I wont date a guy who doesn’t drink because I am half alcoholic, and the lifestyles just wouldn’t mesh. But I much prefer a guy who drinks beer than a high ball on the first date. Not a deal breaker, but one of the other, I prefer a beer drinker.

  8. derek7272 says:

    Nooo! As an occasional aficionado of girly drinks, I just think you have a lot of funny dealbreakers. ;) Or were you kidding?? It cracks me up either way…

  9. Etheya says:

    This is actually kinda interesting to read for a UK based guy…. i personally drink all sorts depending on my mood. Either a good easy beer because im thirsty such as Budweiser…. or when im chilling out give me a good bottle of red wine to relax with. For sophisticated nights im champagne all the way, but can be seen drinking the odd cocktail too… but usually it would have to have whiskey or cognac in it… keep the creamy ones for yourself :-)

  10. jenmata says:

    This made me laugh because I for one am the queen of the sweet, frozen, candy tasting drink and I couldn’t care less what my date is having for drinks. Just go to show how we are all very different. Cheers!

  11. recklessstudio says:

    Haha. I love this post. It also resonated and reminded me that women DO look at what you drink to make a connection to what kind of person you are.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Wow, drinks as deal breakers? I wonder how many woman feel this way also? Bobbyboy

  13. Shannia says:

    while discussing deal breakers with a girlfriend she brought the drink issue. She is a girly drink drinker and she likes a man that orders manly drinks. Personally I rarely drink since I am anemic and there is a potential of finding me dancing naked on a table after a second drink.. i prefer to abstain..lol But I was also telling her that I love a guy that gives me daisies since I love that flower while she was saying daisies or canations are a deal breaker for her. Good shoes is a must for me while she’ll date a guy that wear sneakers. There are as many rules as there are women… Good look guys.. ;)

  14. SINgleGIRL says:

    Hahahahah. I’m sitting at my desk at work right now, laughing like a fool after having read everyone’s comments.
    -aGirlNamedMe
    OMG, I remember having a Sloe Gin Fizz night in college. Blahhhh. Nope, he wouldn’t have passed the muster with me.
    And no derek7272, I’m not kidding.
    -FitDarcie
    I totally get the newspaper on the subway thing. I don’t have a subway ride to work , which is probably why it was so easy for me to give them up. As to the drinking thing, everyone has to do what makes them the most comfortable. I don’t drink much anymore which has to do more with health issues than anything else. And I actually don’t feel comfortable with guys who drink a lot (ooh- I totally have something I have to write about that -there was this guy…).
    -Etheya,
    I’ve spent quite a bit of time in the UK over the years and when there I like to do the champagne thing (champagne as a drink for nights out really isn’t a think here) too. I so don’t get people drinking Bud in decent pubs when you have good beer on tap, but that’s me.
    -jenmata
    We are all very different in our tastes and preferences. I know, deep down, it’s a weird thing to care about. But it’s something that I will always notice.
    -recklessstudio
    Well some women do. And some women don’t. I have no idea why?
    -Bobbyboy
    I think it’s a lot and I think it’s affected by age and background. A woman who’s spent quite a bit of time in dark bars with hard drinking men(that would be me) would notice, for example.
    -Shannia
    It’s true, there are are many different rules as there are men. :-) Good luck to us all.

  15. Etheya says:

    Ah… but you can get Bud on tap here in the UK…. not talking from a bottle my dear!!!! tut tut tut…

  16. SeanD says:

    It’s amazing the different quirks people have about dating, and I’m not saying this in a bad way, it’s just that if I’d mentioned this to friends of mine, they’d class me as being too fussy… I have enough “deal breakers” as it is!

    If I’m on a date and do drink, I usually tend to go for a wine or a spirit-based drink (rum/vodka/gin)… I’ve never been a great beer drinker and am even less fond of whiskey. Having said that, this doesn’t mean that I’m impartial to a girlie cocktail, much like derek7272, as I do enjoy my cocktails… but there’s a time and place for those!

    … perhaps next time I’m on a date, I should simply order a Vodka Martini and leave it at that… but what would that say? And queenie_nyc… if it’s good enough for Mr Bond, it’s good enough for me! :)

  17. Casey Brown-Myers says:

    You are so correct about what drink a guy orders says a lot about him. Guys that order a Zima are usually some sort of metro-sexual. I worked at Adolph Coors for a good while and you can tell a lot about a person from what they drink.

  18. derek7272 says:

    man… and here i was, thinking the whiskey sours and fruity martinis i was ordering showed i was secure in my masculinity…

  19. KrisN says:

    I am in complete agreement with your drink deal-breaker theory. I once had a date with this guy. We got up to the bar and I ordered a beer (we were at a beer bar) and he ordered a run and diet soda. It totally turned me off. I actually have that posted in my online dating profile- do NOT order a diet and whatever on our first date!

    I am new to your site and have really been enjoying it. Thanks so much.

  20. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Etheya
    Darling, Bud on tap is still Bud. I’m sorry but you have some pretty great beer and/or ale (not to mention bitter and stout – mmm Murphys) choices in that great land of yours. Don’t drink our swill.
    -SeanD
    There are as many dealbreakers and quirks as there are people. And isn’t that a good thing. I mean, do we really want to live in a one size fits all world? You should drink what you want to drink and if the woman is the right one for you then she’ll be cool with whatever than is. Right?
    -Casey Brown-Myers
    Welcome to the blog. And OMG, Zima. Bleck. I’ve never actually seen a guy drink that. I’m not sure I could hold my laughter on that one.
    -derek7272
    You beleve what you need to believe, darling.
    -KrisN
    I’m so glad you found me/us and welcome. Rum and diet soda? Yeah that would not be cool with me either. I love that it’s in your online dating profile. That’s awesome.

  21. WiiAdam says:

    Rule number One:
    Never order an Irish Car Bomb
    on St. Patrick’s Day.

    Rule Number two:
    Maybe, asking, “What’s your pleasure?”
    is best.

    **
    I love reading your thoughts about this.
    And, I’m a moderate drinker…sometimes, a lil
    drink is a wonderful ice-breaker.

    `x~WiiAdam.

  22. SINgleGIRL says:

    -WiiAdam
    You always make me smile :-)