Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

It Was Strange

I had a date on Monday night.  A .  It wasn’t a bad date.  It wasn’t a good date.  It was a strange date.  So strange that it took me a few days to figure out what I wanted to say about it.

Strange. I can’t think of any other word to describe it.  He was easy going and sweet before we met, maybe a little treacly.  He wanted to “chat” online, something that I pretty much never do (I don’t get it.  If someone wants to communicate in real time, one-on-one, then they should pick up the damn phone.).  But I logged onto to my yahoo chat and we chatted and he was sweet and we made plans.  He suggested we meet at a in my ‘hood as I was crunched for time, which was fine by me.

I’m never surprised when a guy looks nothing like what I expect.  It’s pretty much a 50/50 thing.  Not only didn’t he look like what I expected (not shorter/taller/fatter but just different) but he was giving off this bizarre vibe.  I can’t really describe it except to say that at first I was thinking he might be one of those sad guys who is gay and in deep (i’ve been on a few of those dates).  But then, almost immediately, he started to get rather handsy with me.  He kept brushing my hair off of my shoulder and touching my leg and my arm.  It would have been all very sexual except that it wasn’t.  Instead it felt like I was just playing a part, “girl on date”.  I didn’t even bother stopping him because it just seemed, well, harmless.  Like I was being grabbed at by another actor, “man on date”.

The funny thing is that we had a lot of fun.  We ended up hanging out with the people sitting next to us at the bar (it’s a locals kind of place, very friendly) and talking for about an hour longer than I’d planned on staying out.  He’s a fun guy.  I could see us being friends.

Anyway, we’ve been in touch since but there’s been no talk of getting together again.  Just pleasantries.  I may just go for it and invite him to do something as friends and then see if he can keep his hands to himself.  We’ll see.

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4 to “It Was Strange”

  1. recklessstudio says:

    This is a little odd. But, as I have discovered in dating, sometimes you find good friends in your search.

    What if he is just a touchy guy? Would you mind that, if you knew that he knew that you two will not get past friendship?

  2. SINgleGIRL says:

    I don’t know if I’d be comfortable being friends with him if he continued with that level of touchiness. It kind of crossed the line of “just being touchy”. We’ll see, I guess.

  3. Anonymous says:

    It does sound like a bit of a strange date, but it seems that you may have found a pretty cool guy to hang out with :)-bobbyboy

  4. Argent says:

    I had a date recently with a guy who was obviously the guy in the photos, but looked nothing like them. I now know why. Men are just as vain as women. He’d taken some “artsy” shots of himself – he’s tall – and one was of him holding the camera way over his head and looking up. There were two others similar. The third was of him, but a head shot, of just the top part of his chin, up to his hairline and done with a b/w filter. It really was a cool photo. He described himself as being “about average” and on the phone as “tall and lanky.” Well, I know “tall and lanky” because that’s my cousin.

    We meet. Well, it’s him. He’s tall, yes. Lanky? Eh, not so much. Could be if he lost 50 lbs. And he has that middle-aged double chin thing going on. I have no issue with any of this, IF THERE IS TRUTH IN ADVERTISING UP FRONT. Here I expected this tall, lanky guy, with dark blond hair and a brilliant smile and I get a tall, overweight guy whose hair is all gray and has a decided double chin. Still, he was well-dressed and very nice. He apologized for his photos, saying he didn’t have any current. Okay, there’s always the “hold the camera out and take the head shot” photo and it CAN be done. I know because most of my photos are like that but so well-cropped you can’t see my camera-holding arm. He could have had his son snap photos.

    And his vibe was…not weird, but very comfortable. I really liked him. A lot. I’ve had three dates with him – but there’s something niggling at me, and it has to do with how neat and tidy his house is, I think. The other thing that niggled is that our third date consisted of me having dinner at his house while his custodial teenage son was there. And he was quite affectionate toward me, in front of his son. I’m not sure I think that’s appropriate – but there are so damned many rules for dating now that I don’t know what’s what.

    I don’t know if there will be a fourth date. Today, after replying to one of his emails, he wrote back “very busy, will chat at you later” and I went out to the dating site to see how “busy” he was and wow, wouldja look at that! “Online now!” So maybe this baby goes out with the bathwater, too.

    Something’s not right. I probably shouldn’t waste time attempting to figure it out and should just move on, huh?