I’m a pretty open person (the real me – not the blog me). When I’m communicating with a new guy online, I always tell him, “ask me anything”. As far as I’m concerned, there really are no topics in my life that are off limits (although, there are some that are unpleasant and others that are just plain tacky to ask about).
There is one question that I’d rather never be asked again: “Why are you single?” Every time I’m asked it it just makes me angry and anxious. I feel like I’m being put on the defensive.
Yesterday, I tripped over a couple of wonderful posts in response to this question. It started with this in Jezebel. Yeah, I know I’m getting too old to read Jezebel and yes they are frequently too catty and snarky and juvenile for me. But then they post something like this. My favorite part is the end,
“Not everyone follows the same path, and not everyone gets to be with someone, and not everyone necessarily chose this. We’re all single for as many reasons as everyone else got married. Like anything else in life, there’s no simple answer.”
They were referring to a really wonderful post written my Lea Lane in the Huffington Post. And from her we have, “I’m alone because I don’t want my heart broken again.” and “I’m alone because life doesn’t always wind up the way you expect it to, and it wound up this way for me, and I roll with it.” I love her whole list, actually. You should take a minute and read it.
I don’t know how many of you know this, but Hypatia, one of the readers who comments sometimes on this blog has a really great blog of her own and it’s called, I Know Why You’re Single. This morning seemed like the perfect time to give her a shout out.
Now for a slightly different topic, but not really. A long time ago, back when I was still on Blogspot and didn’t even know how to add links or music to my blog I wrote a post referencing one of my all time favorite songs. The song is The Ballad of Lucy Jordan by Marianne Faithfull. I listen to it every time I’m feeling a little bit too sorry for myself. Because, no matter what, no matter how stressed out I may be, no matter how uncertain or lonely or just plain tired I can always come back to this song to remind myself that this is the life that I chose and that it’s actually been pretty damn cool.
Tags: anxiety, jezebel, single