Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Sick

I had a pretty awesome post all thought out for today with a link and all kinds of astute observations about people and the strange ways we act.   But that’s going to have to wait, at least a day or two, maybe more.  Truth is, my health has gotten a little funky again and that has me feeling blue.

I have some chronic health issues that come and go.  I can feel great for months at a time.  Or bad for months at a time.  And does make it worse.

The last few months have been hard, though not unbearably so.  I haven’t been in the hospital (just one day in the ER) and I’ve only had to miss a few days of work.   Anyway, I’m hoping things will get better soon.

This does actually relate to my sex and dating life.  I don’t tend to let guys into my health world or tell them anything about my issues until I trust them.  And even then there are matters of degree.  There are men I’ve known for months, who I’ve shared most everything else with, who I didn’t let see me .  Not really .

When I’m sick is when I’m at my most and .   It’s when I need someone more than at any other time.

I’d give just about anything to have someone be there for me when I get home tonight and take care of me.  But even if I had someone in my life right now (let’s say, for example, that things worked out with Mr. Potential or with The Musician) I wouldn’t call him and ask him to come over.  I wouldn’t ask for his help.   I’d be home, sick, .


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10 to “Sick”


  1. Teifion says:

    You might not ask them to come help but if they asked how you were would you say you were unwell? If you said you were unwell and they offered to come and cook you food or in some way look after you what’d you have said?

  2. jenmata says:

    I have no idea what you have, but I do hope you feel better soon. It’s no fun being sick, and being sick alone can be scary at times. Hopefully there is someone else, besides a guy, you can call to be with you when you’re not feeling all that great.

  3. Shannia says:

    Sometimes it’s good to just let your guard down and let people take care of you. Even if I can understand you not wanting the man you date see you vulnerable, I believe that at some point it’s ok to not appear as strong and have someone take care of you.
    Hope you gell better soon.

  4. danieljenkins says:

    I’ve always said “love will come and go, but a true friend will be by your side forever”.
    I’ve been single for quite a while, last gf was a little too jealous and possessive, but over the past few years i’ve made a handful of close friends that no matter what at any time, if they needed me, I’d be there.

    Perhaps this may have hindered some potential relationships, because anyone I choose to get involved with has to be able to handle my unconditional love for these friends….

    Anyway. I hope you feel better and I hope you find a friend that will be there just to be there for you… unconditionally.

    @danieljenkins

  5. Shannia says:

    i guess i wanted to either say feel or get better soon,,, definately not gell :)

  6. PiscesInPurple says:

    Aw. I’m sorry. Although I have no idea what the details of your health issue are, I had Lyme Disease as a teenager and still suffer from it from time to time. Joint pain, headaches, mood swings, etc. Sucks.

    Can you pamper yourself? Do you have a trusted girlfriend who could bring you Matzo ball soup?

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    Thanks everyone for the get wells,etc.
    -Teifion,
    Depending on where I was in my relationship with someone I’d tell them I was unwell, but might not be specific about it. I don’t lie, but I do withhold the truth. If I were feeling really awful then I wouldn’t let them come by. Just a little bad, then sure, they could come by and help. So basically I reject the help when I need it the most.
    -jenmata,
    Yes, luckily, there are friends I could call. Though honestly I most likely to go it alone.
    -Shannia
    I know it’s good, in theory, to let my guard down. I guess I keep waiting for the day when I feel like I can do that. For the guy who makes me feel comfortable enough with him. And I know that it’s entirely possible that I may never meet him.
    -danieljenkins,
    Welcome to the blog. That’s interesting. I am close to some of my friends, but not so much that any new man in my life might feel competitive about it. At least I don’t think so. I wonder?
    -PiscesinPurple,
    Welcome back (now from CT I presume?)
    I knew someone who had Lyme and I know how horrible that is. That must have been rough as a teenager. I plan on taking the weekend off, or as off as I can (damn laptop, sitting there, mocking me). I’ve cancelled all of my plans and obligations. With any luck I can get a lot of sleep and rest and by Monday get my body back into some kind of functioning pattern. :-)

  8. PiscesInPurple says:

    Yep, I’m in CT. Reverse culture shock is a trip!
    Have a wonderful and restful weekend.

  9. BetterNow says:

    I really get this. Recently, I started to date a guy that was in remission from cancer (as luck would have it, it was the same rare type my mom died from)…shortly thereafter, I receive a text while I was at work…”sorry cant see you tonight or anymore, the cancer is back”…

    I don’t know what its like to be the sick person…but, I do know what its like to be the person that has it in them to be there. I wanted to be the person to help him and hold him when he was scared and feeling awful but he completely cut him out of his life. I know its not easy for everyone to be there for someone that is ill and I know not everyone wants to open up and take compassion from someone else…but it helps

  10. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Betternow
    Welcome to the blog. Luckily I don’t have cancer. Just some chronic health issues that make my life a little harder than I wish it were, sometimes. But I understand what you were getting at. I dated a man who had a pretty serious illness a few years ago and he most definitely did not want anyone to take care of him. It created such a huge wall between him and everyone else on the planet. But it was what he wanted and it was his choice. It’s rough when the people you care about make choices like that.