There’s this Seinfeld episode where Jerry gets dumped by his girlfriend after she goes to see his act and doesn’t think he’s funny. She tells him that she can’t date anyone who’s work she doesn’t respect. His response is, “but you’re a cashier”. I think the funniest line in the episode is his reply, “but you’re a cashier.”
I live and date in NYC, which means that I come across a lot of single guys who work or dabble in one artistic pursuit or the other. And yes, whether or not I respect what they do is an issue. One that comes up quite a bit.
Not too long ago I was emailing back and forth with a guy I met online. He seemed like a decent guy. And he made his living as an artist. A pretty decent living from what I could tell, in fact. After a handful of emails he sent me a link to his website, so that I could see his work. And well, that was it. I lost complete interest in him. His work was so, um, bad.
Yeah, artistic taste is subjective. There are plenty of works of art hanging in museums that I don’t like. And his work was selling, so someone liked it. But I didn’t.
A similar thing happened a few months earlier with a musician/songwriter/real-estate broker. He offered me the link to his myspace page so that I could hear his songs and yuck. I suddenly found myself not wanting to meet him.
I called one of my male single friends and checked in with him about this (he happens to work in the arts and so I thought his opinion would be particularly useful). He said he felt the same way. He couldn’t date a musician who’s music he hated or an actor who couldn’t act, etc.
Which leads me to these two things:
1) I’ve had men I dated ask to read my “serious writing”. And I’ve had them then not comment on it. One of them went so far as to make a big show of buying a new printer so that he could print things out to read them. Maybe he hated my work but couldn’t bring himself to tell me. And maybe it affected the way he felt about me.
2) There is a man I am currently emailing with online. He makes his living in the arts. Maybe I shouldn’t go check out his website? Maybe the whole concept of having to respect someone’s work is just absolutely ridiculous? Or maybe I should rush there right now before we meet so that I don’t waste any more time with him?
Tags: dating, decent guy, girlfriend, nyc, Seinfeld