Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Lies And The Liars Who Tell Them (More Fun With Online Dating)

I know I haven’t written about it much, lately (there have just been so many other things I’ve wanted to write about), but I’ve been trying to keep up with my .  You know, the online part of it.

I’m a little out of my mind right now on cold medicine, but I wanted to give you an update because something happened last night that had me laughing my ass off.

Well, first off, all of the guys from my one week experiment on have flaked out on me.  There were a few that I gave my email address to and one that even earned my phone number.  But one by one they all flaked.  I’m so not bothered by it as I wasn’t all that interested in any of them.  I think I was doing a damn good job of keeping up a facade of being interested, but perhaps they sensed my lack of true interest.  Or something else.  Whatever.

So I have active profiles on , and .com. Which sounds like a lot but I’m not that active on any of them because I just don’t find most of the guys on those sites to my liking.  They all have a shortage of men in my demographic (40-50 year old guys who live in Manhattan or REALLY nearby.   I don’t discriminate against the rest of NYC, but I prefer shorter commutes.  Yeah, I just said that.)

So I’m spending very little time on these sites.  Very little.  I get the emails telling me that I have new messages and I check those daily (OK, sometimes I go a couple of days as most of the messages are from guys who are totally inappropriate).

Anyway, I have 2 funny stories to share with you.  The first is a little funny.  The second is hysterical, at least I think it is.  So one of the guys from POF seemed OK.  We exchanged some messages and then I offered him the email address I use for online dating (I have a special email address for online dating and shopping).  We exchanged a few messages there.  And then I realized that he was talking about a lot of things that sounded as if he didn’t live in the city.  But his profile said he did.  So I brought it up.  And it turned out that he USED to live in the city.  A long while ago.  And he doesn’t anymore.  He just didn’t think to mention that to me? Even though my profile makes it clear that I don’t want to meet anyone who lives more than 10 miles away and he clearly does.

Lying shit.

OK, that’s just a little funny.

Then, last night I got a message from a guy who’s profile name I recognized immediately.  It’s oddly distinctive.  He and I met and went out on a date a few years ago (different site, but like him I use the same profile name everywhere I go).  And then sometime last year he contacted me as if it were the first time and introduced himself.  And I had to say, “hey, we’ve already met and we went out”.  It wasn’t a horrible date but it was a completely blah date and I wasn’t terribly offended that he’d forgotten.  Not terribly.

So now, he sees me again and this time he recognizes me from last year and so he sends me another message.  The message was basically that maybe we should try again.  OK, fine.  Nothing wrong with that, you say? But then I do a double take at his profile.  He’s officially aged 10 years.

According to his current profile he is 60 years old.   Now I know, I’m 100% certain that when we went out his profile did not say that he was that old (22 years older than me).  I am 38.  I look pretty good for my age.  I am frequently mistaken for someone younger.  I date older guys because I like older guys.  But, well, 60 isn’t older.  60 is old.  I’m sorry.  But that’s just how I feel.  I’m sure there’s some hot 60 year old out there who could prove me wrong, but I just can’t imagine getting naked with a 60 year old.

I haven’t responded to him.  I don’t even know how to respond.  I probably wouldn’t have been interested in going out with him again anyway.  But that’s moot.  All I can really think about is that his old profile, the one on the other site was a big stinking lie.  I know there are lots of people who lie about their ages.  I’ve dated guys who admitted to me on the first date that they were really 2 or 3 or 5 years older than their profile said.  And while I think that’s incredibly lame, I don’t hold it against them too much because I understand they think that it’s acceptable.  That everyone does it (I don’t).    But 10 years!

Seriously, I was laughing my ass off.


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5 to “Lies And The Liars Who Tell Them (More Fun With Online Dating)”


  1. greenebean says:

    I also have a profile on POF and had received a message from a guy with no picture. I told him it was no fair that he could see me and I couldn’t see him. He asked for my email address and he would send me a pic. Never got it. I don’t understand why people don’t put pics on a dating website. If you’re selling something, you’ve got to show it off.

  2. Teifion says:

    It could be worse, you could be 22 and be asked for ID everywhere (drinking age here is 18) and be told you look “about 16″.

  3. Hypatia says:

    Ha! I had a very similar experience, only the guy who didn’t recognize me and asked me out again had CANCELLED an hour before we were supposed to have met the first time he asked….and then he never followed up.

    So, about a year later he contacts me again–obviously not recognizing me. When I point that out he asks for a second chance. At first I said ok, and I looked up his profile on facebook (his profile was open.)…. It turns out his profile lists him as BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP.

    Yeah. I never got back to him again.

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    -greenebean,
    Well, I’m sure you know that there are a lot of people who just play at online dating sites. Especially on the free sites but also on the costly sites. It’s a hobby, I guess. A game. I wouldn’t take it personally. It’s the main reason why I try not to invest anything into any one “person” until we meet. You never really know what or who is behind a profile, even if they do have a picture up.
    -Teifion
    Well, my dear. That is your cross to bear. You could try to look older, but why bother?
    -Hypatia,
    OMG-What a jerk. Is there a way to tag him or something to let people know what an ass he is?

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