I know I haven’t written about it much, lately (there have just been so many other things I’ve wanted to write about), but I’ve been trying to keep up with my online dating. You know, the online part of it.
I’m a little out of my mind right now on cold medicine, but I wanted to give you an update because something happened last night that had me laughing my ass off.
Well, first off, all of the guys from my one week experiment on Chemistry.com have flaked out on me. There were a few that I gave my email address to and one that even earned my phone number. But one by one they all flaked. I’m so not bothered by it as I wasn’t all that interested in any of them. I think I was doing a damn good job of keeping up a facade of being interested, but perhaps they sensed my lack of true interest. Or something else. Whatever.
So I have active profiles on Plenty of Fish, OKCupid and Match.com. Which sounds like a lot but I’m not that active on any of them because I just don’t find most of the guys on those sites to my liking. They all have a shortage of men in my demographic (40-50 year old guys who live in Manhattan or REALLY nearby. I don’t discriminate against the rest of NYC, but I prefer shorter commutes. Yeah, I just said that.)
So I’m spending very little time on these sites. Very little. I get the emails telling me that I have new messages and I check those daily (OK, sometimes I go a couple of days as most of the messages are from guys who are totally inappropriate).
Anyway, I have 2 funny stories to share with you. The first is a little funny. The second is hysterical, at least I think it is. So one of the guys from POF seemed OK. We exchanged some messages and then I offered him the email address I use for online dating (I have a special email address for online dating and shopping). We exchanged a few messages there. And then I realized that he was talking about a lot of things that sounded as if he didn’t live in the city. But his profile said he did. So I brought it up. And it turned out that he USED to live in the city. A long while ago. And he doesn’t anymore. He just didn’t think to mention that to me? Even though my profile makes it clear that I don’t want to meet anyone who lives more than 10 miles away and he clearly does.
OK, that’s just a little funny.
Then, last night I got a message from a guy who’s profile name I recognized immediately. It’s oddly distinctive. He and I met and went out on a date a few years ago (different site, but like him I use the same profile name everywhere I go). And then sometime last year he contacted me as if it were the first time and introduced himself. And I had to say, “hey, we’ve already met and we went out”. It wasn’t a horrible date but it was a completely blah date and I wasn’t terribly offended that he’d forgotten. Not terribly.
So now, he sees me again and this time he recognizes me from last year and so he sends me another message. The message was basically that maybe we should try again. OK, fine. Nothing wrong with that, you say? But then I do a double take at his profile. He’s officially aged 10 years.
According to his current profile he is 60 years old. Now I know, I’m 100% certain that when we went out his profile did not say that he was that old (22 years older than me). I am 38. I look pretty good for my age. I am frequently mistaken for someone younger. I date older guys because I like older guys. But, well, 60 isn’t older. 60 is old. I’m sorry. But that’s just how I feel. I’m sure there’s some hot 60 year old out there who could prove me wrong, but I just can’t imagine getting naked with a 60 year old.
I haven’t responded to him. I don’t even know how to respond. I probably wouldn’t have been interested in going out with him again anyway. But that’s moot. All I can really think about is that his old profile, the one on the other site was a big stinking lie. I know there are lots of people who lie about their ages. I’ve dated guys who admitted to me on the first date that they were really 2 or 3 or 5 years older than their profile said. And while I think that’s incredibly lame, I don’t hold it against them too much because I understand they think that it’s acceptable. That everyone does it (I don’t). But 10 years!
Seriously, I was laughing my ass off.
Tags: chemistry.com, liar, Match, OKCupid, Online dating, plenty of fish