Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

A Quick Thought for This Frosty Afternoon

As I’ve mentioned several times before, I’m one of those crazy Twitterers you keep hearing so much about (it does seem like you can’t  turn on the TV without hearing someone say ).   On several occasions I’ve mentioned to my friends on twitter that I had a date later in the day.  Each time, without fail, I received a flurry of responses ranging from, “Good luck” and “Have fun” to “Ugh, I hate ” and “Better you than me”.

It actually would’ve made an interesting experiment, if I’d thought about it in advance.  How do people react to the subject of dating?  I don’t know what the actual numbers are, but I do know that a fair share of people really loathe dating.

Out here on the blog, I know that I’m not always a cheerleader for dating.  I try to keep things balanced and in perspective, but I know that sometimes I fail.  The truth is that sometimes it’s hard to head back out there over and over and over and keep on trying even though I haven’t been having much luck lately.  But I do it anyway.

I do it because, quite frankly, the alternatives are just intolerable to contemplate.


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11 to “A Quick Thought for This Frosty Afternoon”


  1. CHFBrian says:

    I may be in the minority, but I actually like dating. I think part of it is that I see dating as an opportunity to do things I might otherwise not – try a new restaurant, or a museum I might not have otherwise felt like going to. I like getting to know new people. Sure, not all dates end up being fun, and I suppose one factor is that I’m only kind of recently dating again after being in a relationship, so there’s some novelty there.

    Maybe I’ll grow bitter and tired of the whole charade soon enough, but for now, dating’s a lot of fun.

  2. derek7272 says:

    I’m not really one to make a point of mentioning first dates to real-life friends, let alone twittering about them to strangers. I feel like doing so would just raise expectations, and really I feel like you have to go out on an awful lot of first dates to find someone you are compatible with. High expectations only leads to disappointment. Not that I am secretive or anything, but I don’t want to make a big deal about a first date either. That is for third & fourth dates.

  3. bobbyjensen says:

    “As I’ve mentioned several times before, I’m one of those crazy Twitterers you keep hearing so much about (it does seem like you can’t turn on the TV without hearing someone say Twitter). ” Soooooo, that was you they were talking about, eh? ;)

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    -CHFBrian,
    I think it’s great that you have a good attitude about dating, whatever the reason. It’s nice to think that there are folks out there who aren’t jaded, yet.
    -derek7272,
    I hear you re the expectations. I try to not have any expectations for first dates. I do tell people about them, though. I see no reason to keep quiet about them. Not mentioning them almost makes it seems like you’re ashamed? Or that’s what it would seem like if I didn’t mention them.
    -bobbyjensen
    Yes, all of that talk- it’s all about ME. Me, me, me. Really, i do like Twitter, though I find the hype pretty ridiculous and could live w/o all of the tweets about how everyone is talking about twitter.

  5. CHFBrian says:

    I tend not to tell people about first dates either. Not because I’m ashamed, but because if things don’t go well, I hate having to be asked about it. “Oh, what happened on your date?!” “Um, she was awful and wouldn’t let me order wine.”

    Bad first date stories are always fun, though. I’d just rather tell them on my own rather than be pestered about it.

  6. derek7272 says:

    Mmm, I’d mention first date plans if someone asked me what I was up to, or something. But I wouldn’t make a point of announcing one … people get all excited, and yeah, then you have to tell them how it goes, etc. Not a question about being ashamed — I don’t tell them when I go grocery shopping either!

  7. CHFBrian says:

    I should add I also don’t like talking about first dates if they *did* go well. In the end, it’s still a first date, and I try and not get too far ahead of myself. I hate to kiss and tell in general, and even if there was no kissing, I like to keep the initial stages of a relationship to myself. Telling my friends about a new girl is kind of a minor but significant step for me.

    A few weeks ago I actually slipped and twittered that I was on a date that was going well. I didn’t hear the end of it from random people for a few days. I also mentioned in one blog post (in passing), that I was on a date. Queue up another round of “ooh, what happened?!” I’d rather just keep things to myself for a bit.

  8. SINgleGIRL says:

    -derek7272 and CHFBrian
    So it sounds like you guys follow a policy that goes something like, “if I talk about it I might jinx it”? I get that. I go the opposite route. I push myself to remain hopeful and so talking about it kind of helps me to stay upbeat about the whole thing.

  9. derek7272 says:

    It’s not, for me, about “jinxing” it …just about managing expectations. I would be worried about jinxing something I care about or attach significance to. Not that I don’t care about finding a girlfriend (I do), but do I get hopeful before a first date? Nooooo, not generally. Esp. not a blind date off the Interwebs…
    However, whatever works for you…

  10. peachofatl says:

    I, too, have taken a break from dating (check out my blog “Embrace the loneliness”. I think it’s important to give it a break for a while and I just wanted you to know that I applaud you for doing the same. But isn’t it funny, how we keep going back for more, even though we have tried and failed so many times?

  11. SINgleGIRL says:

    -peachofati
    I’m looking forward to checking out your new blog. I think breaks can be helpful, when you need or want them. I know I feel much better now that I’ve essentially been “off” for a few weeks.