Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Without Reason

There’s a little place in the village that I’ve been going to for years.  It’s a cafe/ called ‘Ino and even as I type this I do so self-consciously because I hesitate to recommend it to anyone.  I wish I could give you a rational explanation for why I like this place so much.  But I can’t.  There are so many things to not like about it.

It’s tiny and just about always crowded.  And the service is inconsistent.  Sometimes it’ll be fabulous.  Other times you’ll sit and wait forever for no apparent reason.  The prices can hardly be called exorbitant (not by New York standards) but it’s not cheap either.

But I’ve never had a bad meal there.  Ever.  In fact, every meal I’ve ever had there has been good. I tend to pop by for (if you get there by 11:30 you avoid the rush) and their brunches are pretty amazing,

It’s pretty common for me to bring guys there on dates.  It’s perfect for brunch, as I just mentioned, and also for after movie drinks/dessert or a late, light supper.

Now, I hope that everyone reading this in NYC doesn’t run out and head over to ‘Ino with their dates.  That’d suck.  It’s already too crowded. And if you did, you’d kind of be missing my point.  ‘Ino is my weird, I love it in spite of its faults place (or one of them).  I go there on dates because I love it, sure, but also because it’s not a completely bland, flawless, mainstream choice. If someone likes to complain, they’ll have plenty to complain about.

Oh please, don’t start accusing me of making every date into a test.  This isn’t a test.  I do, however, see every date as an opportunity to get to know the other person a little bit better.  And I don’t do this just by asking them questions about themselves.  In fact, the Q & A stuff doesn’t really tell me what I most want to know.

I general, I believe I can learn a lot about a person by observing how they act.  Taking a guy to ‘Ino, it’s just an opportunity to observe him, and learn more about him.   I’m looking to see how mellow or unmellow my date is.  How open he is to new things.  That kind of stuff is important to me.  I kind of can’t stand when the person I”m with freaks out because everything isn’t exactly the way he thinks it should be.   It’s a giant for me.


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9 to “Without Reason”


  1. A British Guy says:

    Ino, I think I know it. An NY friend (girl) took me (boy) there in November and beforehand described it pretty much the same way — and it was. Hmmm! On reflection, I wonder whether she was testing my ‘mellow’ levels?! Food for thought.

  2. bobbyjensen says:

    “But I’ve never had a bad meal there. Ever.” This is a good enough reason for me. Although service is quite important to many, including me, the product has to be good as well.

  3. SINgleGIRL says:

    - A British Guy
    First welcome to blog. Your friend might have also just love the food. Or the wine. But yeah, it is food for thought.
    -bobbyjensen
    Service is one of those things that I am not that fussy about. I guess you can say I have a somewhat European attitude about it. As long as I get what I wanted, and everything tastes good then I’m happy. I can’t stand overly perky, overly attentive waitstaff. They make me nervous.

  4. Alex Shalman says:

    I love when the staff is fun, energetic, and attentive – I love when the place is well decorated, lively, and doesn’t take too long to get a table – I love nice food presentation, that is not ridiculously expensive prices. All of this is like 5% of the experience. The other 95% of dining out (other than the company, which is always most important) is simply the way the food tastes.

    On the other hand, if the staff is mean, that’s also a sign I won’t be back.

  5. SassyBitchSociety says:

    Love your site. I have enjoyed my visit and will pop in again!

  6. starangel82 says:

    I can’t stand bad service. I completely understand if a place is packed and busy, but if the place is dead and I’m still getting crappy service… no. But I’ve worked in the service industry so I see it a little different I guess.

    Anyway, I agree people’s actions can tell you more about a person. Sometimes they can tell you more than if they are doing the Q&A thing. Hence the ‘you can tell how a guy will treat a women by they way he treats his mother’ saying. (Although I’ve not always found that to be true either!)

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Alex Shalman
    We all look for different things when we go out. I was just out last night with some a large group to a place that they ALL love and I hated it. To each his own. The point is to have places that you love, for your own weird reasons, and share them with your dates.
    -SassyBitchSociety
    Welcome and thanks so much for the compliment. I look forward to seeing more of your comments in the future.
    -starangel82
    Well, in this place’s case, the service is rarely bad (rarely), Just occasionally odd. For instance, one of the last time’s I was there was with a friend for brunch. We got there early, before it was packed (it’s a pretty ‘hip’ place and those people sleep late). Our waitress promptly took our drink orders and brought our drinks and then came over to take our orders. There was a free table, hence chair, next to us and so she sat down and sighed loudly. Then she asked us if we knew what we wanted. We did, and we ordered – slowly, so that she had a chance to rest for a few seconds. Honestly she just looked exhausted. Neither of us thought she was being rude, but I can imagine some people being horrified by how casual and inappropriate it might have seemed. And of course, while she took a breather with us, there were other tables who had to wait a minute longer for whatever they were waiting for. Stuff like that doesn’t bother me. It’s brunch. It should be leisurely. As long as I have my coffee and my bellini, I’m happy. But to each his own.
    Anyway, I don’t think the “treats his mother” thing holds true because some men have these weird attachments to their mothers. But I do believe that a girl should never trust a man who’s rude to waitstaff.

  8. Veka says:

    Just like a trip to the museum can tell you a lot about your date, so do instances like this. I agree with your statement that “a girl should never trust a man who’s rude to waitstaff.” That’s one of my biggest pet peeves on a date.

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Veka
    It just amazes me how horrible some men can be to people who work in restaurants and bars. It’s nice to see I’m not the only one who has issues with this.