I’m a MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) member, which means I pay an annual fee and can then go as often as I like and take guests for a nominal fee. This works out to be a great deal for me, as I visit the museum about once a month, sometimes more. I might pop in for an hour if I happen to be in the neigborhood, or spend a whole day there with a friend exploring some new exhibit. The majority of those visits, however, are dates.
I love museum dates. Love, love, love them. For me, there’s no better 2nd or 3rd date with a guy I think I like but still have questions about than spending some time together at a museum.
There are so many reasons to go with a museum date. First, it’s always my treat, and I believe in the “I ask, I pay” school of paying for dates rather than going dutch. I know, going in, there won’t be any awkward negotiations when the check comes, “this one’s on me,” “oh, no, let me get it”. MOMA has a pretty high door price ($20) and frequently long lines. I like that it’s my treat and we can just walk in ahead of the line.
But that’s really the least of it. So many dates are sedentary. Dinner and a movie – hours of sitting, dinner and drinks – more sitting, the theater – even more sitting. And there’s nothing wrong with sitting. But strolling through the museum together lets me find out small, subtle things about a guy. Will he hang out near me or rush ahead if he’s bored? How close to me is he going to stand when we stop and talk? Will he walk obliviousy into other people’s line of sight or will he be aware of the people around him?
And that’s just the tip fo the iceburg. We will, after all, be walking through a fabulous art museum. Some guys get all hushed and serious and act like we’re in a church or give me mini-lectures on their favorite pieces, regurgitating what they learned in art appreciation class. Some make fun of the things they don’t like, saying stuff like, “My 4 year old nephew paints better than that.” Others make fun of me for the things I like, “I can’t believe you like that, his work is so derivative.” The mocking, “how could you like that,” happens more than you’d think. There are a lot of guys who are convinced that the best way to score points with a woman is to put her down. Whatever. Some guys are just plain – out bored, not interacting with the art or the space or me because they “just don’t get it”. Or, perhaps most disappointing of all, some insist that they like everthing. Absolutely everything.
Or maybe, just maybe, the guy could be cool. It happens sometimes. There are lots of ways a guy can be cool on a museum date (not doing any of the things in the previous paragraph would be a start). I don’t need him to like what I like or agree with me or even be that into art. I just need him to want to enjoy spending time together, to enjoy discovering new things, to be willing to be open. The specifics aren’t really all that important.
Lots of guys have failed the museum date over the years, mostly because they’ve been insecure or cocky (which is usually the same thing, in my opinion). They mock or lecture me about the art allthewhile forgetting why they’re there, because I like them a bit and want to get to know them better.
Really, isn’t that what every date is about, in the beginning? You go to see a movie together so that you can talk about it and get to know one another better. It’s not about seeing the movie. You go out to dinner so that you can talk while you eat. The restaurant matters, but much less than the conversation. Spending some time at the museum together happens to be a great way to get to know more/different things about the person you’re interested in.
Tags: Best Date Spots, Moma