It was during my last phyiscal therapy session (neck injury – causing me much stress lately as I can’t work out/go to yoga) when my physical therapist stopped working on the kinks in my neck for a few minutes to tell me that, perhaps, my pains are physical manifestation of what’s going on in my brain. That the neck is where we “hold on” to things, peoples and ideas and that all of the pain that I’m suffereing might be my body holding onto something or someone that I need to let go off.
I said something along the lines of, ‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ and smiled.
I want to believe in all of that. The power of positive thinking, the Laws of Attraction, The Secret, mind over body – all of it. I want to believe that if I just found the peace and harmony in my mind then suddenly the realities of my life would be more peaceful and harmonious. I’m not being sarcastic here, btw. I really do want to believe. I want to believe that I can attract my soulmate* to me if I just set my mind to the right dial.
It’s just that I don’t. I’ve talked about this before. And I don’t want to offend anyone here. Really, I don’t. I wholeheartedly believe that everyone needs to find what works for them in terms of how they live their lives. That’s pretty much the only true belief I have. That, and try to be good. Everything else seems wrong. For me.
However, I do miss yoga something awful. I miss those few hours a week when my mind was pretty much at rest because it was completely focused on my body. And so I promised my physical therapist that since it’s still not quite safe for me to return to my old yoga routine that I will try meditating instead. This is something I’ve never done before. I’m not sure I can. But I promised to try.
I’d love to think to that meditating every day will be my answer. The thing that will cure my neck problems and as a bonus imbue me with a special glow that will attract my future partner (is that how these things work?). And who knows, it could be. I’m going into it with hope, pretty much the way I enter every new relationship. Hope, wrapped around a tiny nugget of doubt.
*I don’t believe in soulmates, either. But I’d like to.
Tags: hope, yoga