Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Set Up SINgleGIRL

This came up as an idea/possibility a while ago.  A reader/fellow blogger commented that she knew the perfect guy for me and I said I’d be open to meeting him.  And then nothing ever came of it.

So, since I’m littering up my blog today with posts that are barely posts, I thought I’d throw this in the mix, too.  If you happen to know some great single guy who lives in NYC (if you are a regular reader you know how I feel about guys who live in the ‘burbs, if not just scroll down and read Location, Location, Location), between the ages of 40-50 and you think I’d like him, then tell me about it/him.  You can do it publicly in the comments or private message me or DM me on Twitter.

If he seems like someone I might like then I will figure out someway/somehow to arrange for us to meet.  Yeah, I’m an anonymous blogger – but I’d risk my anonymity for the sake of a great guy.


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16 to “Set Up SINgleGIRL”


  1. bobbyjensen says:

    Now this is a hell of an idea SG! I’m not all that sure it’s been done before on a blog either. I’m definitely going to try and stay tuned to see what happens here. And I would really love to see a great outcome for you! :)

  2. FitDarcie says:

    You are a brave, brave woman.

  3. derek7272 says:

    You should just have a bar night and invite all of your readers/potential suitors to come. Some of us are curious to meet you, even if we fall slightly outside your age range… ;)

  4. Azarel says:

    my advice, start going to places where you’d expect great guys to be!
    no not the bar xD …i mean, sure there are a few great guys at bars…but that’s like a 1/2000…and i doubt you have the patience to wait at a bar for a whole freakin’ day hoping that mister almost-perfect walks through the door!
    Try looking for guys at places YOU love to go to!…example, if you have a passion for wine, go to one of those wine tasting events!
    Now I’m sure you must have tried this already but you can’t just give up and expect someone else to find a “great guy” whom you may or may not like! :P
    there are some things that you just gotta do yourself

    …ok just focus on that last line xD
    anyways, good luck with your search

  5. cjw666 says:

    Careful who you listen to, please, SINgleGIRL! You could endanger your anonymity via someone who is not what they seem.

    Added to that, you know full well that chemistry is all and that it’s not really transferrable from person to person. FitDarcie’s absolutely right – so, good luck, you might need it! :)

  6. SINgleGIRL says:

    -bobbyjensen, FitDarcie, derek7272 and cjw666
    Thx and LOL-
    As FitDarcie said, I am brave. I am not, however, stupid. OK, I realize that some of my behavior might indicate otherwise, but really I’m not. derek7272, I will not be outing myself to a room full of readers. I was planning on approaching a few, select readers at Twestival and then I had my meltdown (see “Meltdown” for an explanation if you want one). But I won’t be giving up my anonymity on a silver platter. Maybe, one day, after I’m outed for whatever reason, I’ll do what you suggested. In the meantime, I am open to exactly what I’ve mentioned. Listening to see if anyone has anyone they think I’d match with.
    -Azarel,
    Welcome and while I appreciate your advice – I hate it. Let me explain. I live my life, I do what I enjoy doing. I go to events that I like. I go because I like them – not because I hope to meet a man at them. The second a woman turns every event, party, day of her life into an opportunity to meet a guy she’s becomes the kind of crazy lady that I don’t want to be. Sure, my eyes are always open and I have met men out in the real world. But it’s much harder, as I’ve discussed on the blog, as you get older. Especially as SO MANY women sign onto things like fundraisers, wine tastings, cooking classes, etc for the express purposes of meeting a man.

  7. starangel82 says:

    Best of luck to you, dear. I don’t know if I could do it! But maybe you’ll meet Mr. Right!

  8. shannia says:

    I have a question for you,. I just started reading you like 2 weeks ago so you might have answered this already but I was wondering why men from 40-50?
    you’re 38 you seem to be socially active, have you ever dated younger men, I am not talking 20ies but 35ish? just wondering.

  9. darkheath says:

    “Especially as SO MANY women sign onto things like fundraisers, wine tastings, cooking classes, etc for the express purposes of meeting a man. ”

    uh, really?

  10. SINgleGIRL says:

    -starangel82
    Oh, on the great big list of crazy things I’ve done this wouldn’t land anywhere near the top. Besides, I’m not “doing” anything unless one of my readers comes up with a prospect. No one so far. Wanna take bets?
    -shannia,
    That’s a legitimate question and one I get often. My answer is multi-layered. First, I have always been attracted to and dated older guys. Always. In high school they were in college. In college they were in their twenties. In my early 20s they were in their late 20s or 30s, etc. If I had to dissect the “why” I’d say it’s because I can only be attracted to someone who has equal to more (quantity and quality) life experience than me. I’m into guys who have seen and done all kinds of cool things, been cool places…That’s just who I am (and always have been). So for me age=experience. Next, I really do think that most guys don’t have their shit together until they are 40. Some do, sure. But most don’t. They’re still figuring themselves out. And I’m looking for someone who’s already done that work. Done the figuring out. I want someone who knows who he is and where he’s going. Who has all of the big questions answers, I find that incredibly hot, if you want to know the truth.
    -darkheath,
    Yep. It’s a fact. Sign up for any class like that and you’re going to find a lot of women hoping to meet men. Same goes for volunteering(urban myth has it that those are good ways to meet men, doncha know?). That doesn’t mean I don’t do classes in things I want to learn or volunteer for things I care about. But I do them because I want to do them.

  11. derek7272 says:

    I’ve heard that too — that things like wine tastings, hiking trips and dance class etc have a great ratio and are a good way to meet women. V Frankly it seems like too much work — a big time commitmeent (and moderate cost) to only meet what , a dozen or so ladies? Sooo not fun if you don’t meet anyone you click with.

  12. SINgleGIRL says:

    -derek7272
    I’m not recommended those venues (though it would be like shooting fish in a barrel). Just stating a fact.

  13. derek7272 says:

    mmm, i just worry i wouldn’t like any of them and be bored out of my mind. but perhaps i shouldn’t be so negative about something i haven’t really tried… if i give it a go i will def. report back to you.

  14. WBO says:

    What’s up, girl? :)

    I, too, am an anonymous blogger. Like many other people, I have always written off the very thought of finding love online as simple utopia (but have always secretly hoped to be proved wrong).

    Comes January, I start communicating with a guy on DList.com and we immediately clicked. One thing leading to another, we are talking on Skype quite regularly now. I like him and he seems to like many things about me.

    Guess what? He says he loves my blog! Not only that, but he and I found out (to our greatest astonishment) that he had bumped into my blog a few months before we started talking and had bookmarked it without knowing its owner. See? Blogging CAN bring your big ole sappy Love! :)

    What I like about this guy is that he is not your typical sex predator on a constant hunt for his next victim, nor does he rush into things. I, usually, encounter people online who are ready for A Relationship – any relationship, not because of who I am and what I stand for. So, I have been really lucky this time around.

    Speak of luck, I wish you tons of it! :-) Not that you will quite need it, but it’s a good bonus in life. Rock on with this sexylicious blog of yours, missy! Reading you is quite the treat!

  15. SINgleGIRL says:

    -derek7272
    Don’t go signing up for a class that you wouldn’t enjoy. But if you’re curious about wine tasting or cooking classes or interested in volunteering- sign up. You can bet there will be plenty of women there.
    -WBO
    Welcome to the blog and thank so much for your encouraging comments. I don’t plan on giving up anytime soon.

  16. WBO says:

    You are very welcome! It’s been months that I wanted to be able to comment on your blog. :-)

    I agree when you said that men in their 40′s tend to have their shit together. I am 26 and, despite having experienced quite a few things in life, do not feel like I have come full circle yet.

    Exceptions, obviously, exist. When a 40-something says he is 32 on his online profiles, is partnered but cannot leave his partner because the latter is needed in paying the house’s mortgage and faces unexpected life problems as masterfully as Ryan Seacrest hosts American Idol … No, thank you!

    Last but not least, I’d think twice about meeting a guy somebody you “barely” know has recommended. Sometimes, the matchmaker happens to have eyes on that guy but couldn’t find a way to approach him; therefore, the so-called matchmaker tries hooking an acquaintance up with the guy so as to get closer to him. (Personal experience lol)