Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

I’m Not Paranoid

Something’s been on my mind all day (really for weeks).

I think I have a Twitter stalker. Go ahead and laugh.  My blog is public.  And my most recent tweets are posted here on my blog so anyone in the world can read them.  But checking my blog to read a few tweets at a time is different than having them sent to you via text.  Which is what my stalker could be doing.

A few weeks ago I was looking for bots and spammers amongst my followers so that I could block them. I was on a mission.  I just don’t believe that Twitter is a numbers game (the person with the most followers wins) and I didn’t/don’t want spammers following me on principle.

As I was weeding through the followers i found someone who 1) had no picture; 2) no web address; 3) no real world info/description; 4) had no followers; 5) was ONLY following me.  I freaked for about a minute and then immediately blocked the account.  I tried not to dwell too much on who was behind it.  Truth is, a couple of different people came to mind.  And dwelling on the idea that it might have been either of them just freaked me out.

I know I could just protect my updates.  But I like the fact that Twitter is this open, somewhat wild medium.  I like that someone can randomly click on me, decide to follow me for a few days and then change their mind if they’re bored.  I think a lot fewer people would do that if I chose to protect my updates.  In fact, I’m sure of it.  And since some (a small percentage, truthfully) of my Twitter followers become blog readers, cutting down on my followers would be hurting the blog.

So I’m keeping it unprotected for now.  For NOW.  I think I found the stalker again today.  Either that or another stalker altogether.  You see, even though I tried not to think too much about it, I’ve been looking for him ever since.  This profile had no followers, was following 4 people and was attached to a dummy blog (it was completely blank).  The 3 other people he was following seemed completely random.  So I blocked him, too.

And now I’m kind of freaked out about it.  I’ve kind of accepted the fact that if someone wants to follow me, without my knowing it’s them, it’s easy enough to create duplicate accounts.  I just really don’t like the idea that there’s someone from my real life, my flesh and blood life, who isn’t in my life anymore but who’s still “hearing” my voice all day.  I just don’t like that one bit.


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11 to “I’m Not Paranoid”


  1. derek7272 says:

    Couldn’t it have just been someone who liked your blog? How would anyone you know in real life find your twitter account?

  2. SINgleGIRL says:

    derek7272
    You could be right. Could be. I would just think that someone who liked my blog would be more transparent about it. There are a couple/few dozen people who know my real identity. And well, I’m not going to muse about who it could possibly be here. I just think it’s freaky. Twitter isn’t really about receiving tweets from just one person all day, is it? But then. I guess it can be.

    Publish

  3. PiscesInPurple says:

    Ah, Twitter… I understand why you feel uncomfortable, and also why you’re considering protecting your updates. I did that after that crazy guy was comment-bombing my blog, but I switched it back after a few days because, like you say, the nice thing about Twitter is the openness, and I want people to be able to find me when they do a search for Grenada.

    I think your situation is scarier though, and you should do whatever you need to do to protect yourself/ feel comfortable. But maybe it’s just a coincidence? I hope so. Either that or it could be someone who reads your blog and signed up for Twitter just to see what you’re doing there. You know, a loyal reader who is treating Twitter like an RSS reader.

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    -PiscesinPurple,
    Well, since both you and derek7272 are thinking it could just be a fan then I am going to try to focus on that. But honestly, anytime I see stuff like that I am going to block the person. Fan or whatever, it makes me uncomfortable.

  5. bobbyjensen says:

    Both of the comments have very good points! Having some experience with stalkers and behind the scenes availability as a moderator of a dating site, I always tell people, especially ladies, keep your guard up at all times. Freaks are there and always will be. Don’t allow them to ruin your online experience, but I agree that keeping an eye on things is a great idea!

  6. PiscesInPurple says:

    I agree with bobbyjensen. There’s a fine line between vigilance and paranoia and we all, especially women, need to tread carefully in cyberspace. I think that you, SINgleGIRL, are straddling that line quite nicely now. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

  7. shannia says:

    I also believe you have to be careful but not paranoid, and you’re right to delete people if you think they’re stalking you.. that’s just psycho. I have been debating starting a blog but I am not sure how I feel about this whole identity thing yet.. that and I am too lazy to blog everyday.
    Your blog is very interesting, it’s the story of all single women really, I dropped by one day following a link on SBM in NOVA and now I stop by everyday on my lunch hour. So the stalker could just be someone who enjoys reading you,, like me :)

  8. bobbyjensen says:

    I also should have noted that even after a group of us had met, a few times we found that a person was weird in person, but not online. And let’s face it, if a nut job really wants to find out who someone is or stalk them, they can probably find out how to.

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Thanks PiscesinPurple and bobyjensen,
    Got it. I will be vigilant but not paranoid. Ugh.
    -shannia
    I’m glad you found me and are enjoying the blog. I also like SBM in NOVA. And I hope you’re right. I hope it’s a blog reader. That would be awesome.

  10. Hypatia says:

    Creepylicious! I’d be weirded out too!

    On a tangentially related note I had a valentine’s day gift dropped off at my home anonymously. There’s only 1 ex around her who knows where I live (and I can’t picture him doing this) and none of my friends will own up to it. My number is unlisted, and no one I’m seeing now (should) know(s) where I live….

    So, I’m a little weirded out myself. Creepy! I am tossing those goodies away UN-tasted.

  11. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Hypatia,
    OMG, That sounds CREEPY. I would’ve chucked the candy, too.