Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Quickest Way to My Heart

I love food. It’s pathetic how much I love food. I always tell guys this up front.  Every online dating profile I’ve ever written mentions my love of food.  And the last time I met a guy out in the live world, just out and about, it was on line at one of my favorite local, non-chain, take-out places.  He was wondering aloud what to get and I offered him several suggestions.  I’m a regular there, and know the menu by heart so I had plenty to say.  He asked for my number.  Crappy date, but whatever.

I’m also tiny.  and thin (but not skinny).  The chick in my header pic is me. That’s my half-nekkid body (just in case you’re a new reader and didn’t know).  I’m not bragging. Just pointing out a fact.  I’ve worked hard over the years to stay in shape, though I know I need to be thankful for my good metabolism.  It’s just easier for some of us to stay thin, and I know I’m lucky that way.

Anyway, I bring this all up because I cooked tonight for the first time in ages.  Nothing fancy.  Just one of my favorite comfort foods. And I realized that, while I can cook super-healthy and/or super-fancy the things I cook most often are comfort foods.  And that that’s just another thing for me to be mindful of when I’m playing the dating game.

I can think of several guys I’ve gone out with in the last few years who were health food freaks (None of them made it to boyfriend status, though it wasn’t their eating habits that did them in).  I guess those types of guys look at me and think I must eat healthy all of the time, too.  One of them actually cringed when I said that I was considering ordering something over another for dinner because it came with french fries and I frequently choose my meal by the side dish.  He was appalled that I ate french fries.  He didn’t eat any fried foods.  I don’t remember, but I’m pretty sure we never went out again after that.  I do remember not ordering the dish with the french fries.  it wasn’t worth the grief.

I guess I’d rather date a guy who needs to lose a few pounds because he likes food just a little too much than someone who always eats the right thing.  I’m probably in the minority on this one.  That’s OK with me.  That means more slightly overweight guys left on the market for me to date and share cholesterol laden treats with.


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19 to “The Quickest Way to My Heart”


  1. starangel82 says:

    Lucky you and your metabolism. Care to donate some of that metabolism to me and my dieting cause? :)

    I’d much rather have a guy with a little meat on his bones. I dated a guy once who was a stick figure. I mean skinny. (Which in hind sight we probably looked an odd couple. Anyway.) We were at his place watching a movie one night and just cuddling. I could not get comfortable because his hip or shoulder or elbow or something was jabbing me. It was ridiculous. I decided after that, I want a man who is a little meaty. Besides, they cuddle better. :D

  2. starangel82 says:

    Stupid italics.

  3. Alex Shalman says:

    I think I fall into the “few extra lbs cause I love food” category. I work out, and I eat right most of the time. Then we get the those pleasurable foods, which I refuse to call guilty pleasures, just pleasures.

    I just don’t have the desire to get to sub 10% bodyfat like some of my friends, who eat like healthy mutants. Not that I’m knocking them for doing their thing, I admire their dedication, I just have an appreciation for the craft of food, and know that it’s there to be enjoyed — in moderation of course.

  4. tokyo cowgirl says:

    I couldn’t agree more! Besides (and forgive me for the gross over-generalization) I think men that can’t have fun at the dinner table are probably not going to be very fun in bed, either.

  5. bellaressa says:

    I’m glad that some of you like to eat. I find pleasure in watching others enjoy good food.

  6. Billumwillumhere says:

    You got curves to die for, hun.
    I’d take you out for whatever your heart desired…

    ..and, if the talk is anything but cheap, (coming from my side of the table, at least)
    I will happily eat my hat for breakfast.

    (You know who this is…right?)

    `x~Willumbillumhere.

  7. derek7272 says:

    trying to close the italics.

  8. derek7272 says:

    hey, it worked! you’re welcome.

    i went on a big fitness kick a year ago, after a breakup. Normally I’m pretty active anyway, but I really got into it — two workouts a day and dieting. Got down to around 8% bodyfat and 166 pounds, when most of my life I’ve been around 175. (I’m a tad under 6-foot). Part of the plan was to look good for the ladies … but of course the first girl I dated wanted me to gain weight. I’m not sure if she actually thought I’d look better, or just felt like she’d be able to relax more. Anyway now I’m back up to around 172.

  9. jazminreeves says:

    I wish my metabolism was like that…well not that its teribble…see you have to work hard to keep your figure…and i have to work extra extra extra hard[[hah]]my girlfriend is kind of like you. I swear she eats at least 8 full meals a day, and doesnt gain a pound[[its amazing]]

  10. cjw666 says:

    I understand – I have much the same metabolism and I know it annoys others when I can eat more or less anything and hardly add an ounce.

    I also agree about the health nuts. I love and am often impressed by passion in others, but outright fanaticism – Nah! Don’t do that!

  11. DeBlacam says:

    ….am so glad that you are you and I am I……. and that you can like what you like and own it as yours. N me? Same!

    Live Single Girl…. till the name applies not.

    What is better the smell of coffee or the taste? Me? Glad you asked….. It’s the combination.

  12. Global Patriot says:

    Love that you’re into comfort food. For me it mirrors the richness of our existence, and I find it also goes best with wine. I still try to eat healthy, not too much fat and meat, work out regularly, and still need to lose a few, but there is balance to consider, and the fact remains that dining with someone is the best way to savor life itself. Not to mention the thrill of cooking together in the kitchen.

  13. SINgleGIRL says:

    First, thank you derek7272 for fixing that italics thing. Sometimes I really hate technology.
    Next, the way I see it, metabolism really is a crap shoot. And I have no idea how long I’m going to look the way I do. My mom wasn’t thin. Ever. But her mom was. Genes are weird, at least that’s the way I see it. Which is probably why I’ve always been kind of mellow about guys and their bodies. When I see a guy with a perfect body I might think, “hot” but I rarely think, “I want to date him”. It’s just not relevant to me.
    -starangel82,
    I agree with you – really skinny is not hot in a guy.
    -Alex Shalman
    Welcome. Thanks for joining the conversation. As you can see here, smart women don’t want you to starve.
    -tokyo cowgirl
    I’m going to agree with you there. But that’s a whole other post :-)
    -bellaressa
    There’s that element of it too. I hate eating with fussy eaters. It makes me nuts.

  14. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Willumbillumhere,
    Imagine me blushing, darling.
    -derek7272
    I’m not surprised to hear that the woman in your life wanted you to chill about the diet and exercise thing. Only a diet fanatic/gym rat finds those attributes sexy in others. Most of us prefer balance.
    -jazminreeves,
    It’s all a crapshoot. It really is. And i do have to work for it.
    Just not as hard as others.
    -cjw666,
    That’s a good point. There’s something about the fanaticism that’s the turn off. I’m also not into guys who will NEVER eat healthy. Balance!
    -DeBlacam,
    Yep, the combo. Gets me every time.
    -GlobalPatriot,
    Oh, yes. I am so with you. Food and wine. And balance! Not too much to want out of life, I think.

  15. derek7272 says:

    But it wasn’t like I was spending so much time exercising it got in the way of our relationship. We only dated for a few months and only saw each other once or twice a week … she was a medical resident so busy busy busy. I think it’s just a question of not wanting to feel pressured … like when two overweight people are dating and one goes on a diet and the other is all underminery.

  16. Shannia says:

    I also prefer my man with a little meat, I love to cook and love it when my man enjoys a good meal. My b-friend has a good metabolism and doesn’t gain much weight, he’s athletic and stays that way whatever he eats, sometimes I hate him..lol because I have to be carefull what I eat and take a lot of danse classes to burn the calories,, but at least I have fun doing it. I love food too so i compromise, I eat really healthy during the week and let go on the weekends, that way i don’t gain a pound.

  17. ZJapan says:

    I have a good metabolism too although I mostly eat rice with something else and it is generally low in fat. I was never heavy but have lost weight since I’ve been in Japan. Being thin here is normal and Japanese girls don’t mind that I have a 26 inch waist.

    Most Japanese girls are thin but in a healthy way. They are generally smaller anyway, thin, are amazing with make up and wear nice clothes and sexy heels/boots most days. I may not be able to handle fat girls in t-shirts and badly fitting jeans if I go back to Chicago. It is amazing the difference between wearing jeans with old gym shoes and heels. The girls here wear heels all the time and don’t change into other shoes. In fact they run in heels to catch the trains in the morning.

    But I digress. I think that people who really love food should be together.

  18. SeanD says:

    Not quite sure whether this post is about food or body shapes… or perhaps a bit of both? Anyway, I digress. I have to admit that one of my vices (if it can be considered such a thing) is enjoying good food. While I try and eat healthily, my diet tends to fall a touch short… but as you say, it more about enjoying the food you eat.

    Incidentally, would you mind sharing what it was that you cooked? I’m a tad curious (and yes, I know what that did to the cat!)

  19. SINgleGIRL says:

    -derek7272,
    I try never to guess the motivations of people I haven’t met. But whatever her motivation, I’m not surprised.
    -Shannia
    It’s sounds like you found a balance that works for you. That’s great.
    -Zjapan,
    Yeah, this is one of those areas where geography makes a big difference. People are just “bigger” in some places than others. We can leave the other stuff for another discussion, OK?
    -SeanD,
    Oh, I’m not sure this post is about either of those thing, specifically. But things evolve, you know. I made some super yummy mac and cheese from scratch. Secret recipe. Any man who wants into my heart has got to love it as much as I do.