Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Drawing Lines

I’m technically and the vast majority of you, my readers, have no idea who I am, what I do for a living, etc.  There are, however, some people in my life who know about this .  Most of them don’t read it, at least not regularly.  But a few do.  And most importantly, the men I date don’t know about it.  So I shouldn’t have any trouble just telling you everything that’s ever happened and everything that’s happening now.  I should just let it all hang out.  Right?

Well, it’s not that simple.  I just don’t feel comfortable doing that.  It seems indecent to say certain things.  To betray some confidences. Sure, the lines I’m seeing only exist in my head and they tend to move forward and backwards as I get deeper into this blogging experience, but there are lines that I don’t feel comfortable crossing.

As I sat down to write yesterday’s post, I started with a set of 5 funny stories.  And then it hit me.  A couple of those stories happened with men who I had actual with.  Not necessarily good (in fact, they both ended up being written about as liars, months ago- to find those just search for “lies”), but nonetheless.  And when it comes down to it, I don’t feel comfortable sharing the super-intimate/sexual details of what happens between me and the men I have real with.  Maybe this will change in the future and I’ll start to disclose more nitty gritty sexual details on my blog as time goes on.  But for now, it’s just something I can’t do.  Not about someone I once had feelings for.

In yesterday’s comments, derek7272 said something about not telling guys about the blog because I’ll write about the one time they were bad in bed.  Well, there are lots of reasons to not tell guys about this blog, the main one being it will affect how they see/treat me.  When I meet someone I really like I will tell him (eventually) and hope that it won’t damage our relationship.  But I won’t have written anything specific about his sexual prowess.  That’s just not something I’m going to do.  Only the superlosers who got tossed out with the trash get that honor.

Which leads me to these two random facts.  1)  I had a story similar FitDarcie’s that I didn’t feel comfortable telling.  2)  Last night did not go well.  Not well at all.  I am not sure how much I want to say about that yet as I’m still not sure whether I intend on giving The Musician another chance.  If I do, then I will withhold details until I know whether or not anything ever really happens between us.  If something does – you don’t get the juicy details.


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7 to “Drawing Lines”


  1. Teifion says:

    Seems like a good policy to me. I think that it depends on how much of a jerk they are, at the end of the day I’m not going to feel guilty if you write it, I’m not going to get an emails if an ex finds what you’ve written about them. I am however surprised that you did share such personal details, then again the most I ever blogged about relationship wise was a statistical proof that giving out cookies would get me a GF (so far all I know for sure is I need more cookies).

    I do find it interesting that you talk about how nice it is to have good relationships then take sexual ability so seriously. I’m well aware that everybody wants to have their cake and eat it but sometimes you can’t eat the whole cake. Why is sexual ability so important to you (feel free to ignore that if you’d rather not answer it)?

  2. FitDarcie says:

    On my blog, I’m open about who I am, and I usually tell guys about my blog if they know my last name and can google me. However, I appreciate being part of a community like this where I can post about things that those who read my blog probably wont find out about. For example, the guy I wrote yesterday’s comment on is actually a friend and we’re in the same circle, so I love being able to post my life tidbits somewhere else where those affected wont know I wrote them. Sometimes I wish I was anonymous like you!

  3. bobbyjensen says:

    It’s a tough call because we never really know how the other person may feel after time. I think you share the same policy as me in a way because I don’t want to put other people’s business out there. If they want it out there, they’ll put it out there (or let me) :)

  4. derek7272 says:

    It’s not that I think you’d write about it, but I think a guy reading it might get worried. I mean, I like to think I’m great in bed 99% of the time — but jeez, we all have our slip-ups, esp. when you’ve been out of practice for a couple months. I could relate to that first guy you mentioned…

    I’m currently listening to audiobook of Chelsea Handler’s “My Horizontal Life” on my iPhone, which had me laughing out loud on the subway the other day … very funny collection of similar stories, although she doesn’t spare herself either.

    Fitdarcie, you wrote that about a friend?

  5. FitDarcie says:

    @derek7272 He took a picture of me in bed. I think I have the right to write about that all over the place without being a bad friend. The person who takes a picture of a girl he’s lying next to in bed when he thinks she is sleeping is the one who crossed friendship lines.

  6. derek7272 says:

    oh, i was thinking of iChristie’s story. yeah, that is fucked up; i wouldn’t blame you if you wouldn’t want to be friends with him after that. sorry.

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Oh jeez Teifion,
    Why do you keep asking me questions that require post-long answers? OK, on the list for posts that need to be written: Why is sexual ability so important to me?
    -FitDarcie
    You are a very brave woman. I can just barely live with this level of exposure. I don’t know how you really ‘out there’ people do it.
    -bobbyjensen,
    Well, of course, I don’t use real names and never give enough biographical data to out anyone but I think it’s still important to be discreet.
    -derek7272
    I’ll have to check out that book you recommended. As for the rest of your comment – I’m not touching it!