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Dr. Phil is a Dickhead but He’s Not Always Wrong

So I’ve had this phrase/thought floating around my head for the last few days.  I don’t know if I read it in someones blog or what.  Early senility sucks. I wanted to write about it but I had to attribute it to someone so I googled it.  It popped up in a lot of places, most notably in Dr. Phil’s life lessons. (I apologize if I am about to offend anyone, really I do.) I almost changed my idea for the post, knowing that this was something that could’ve come from the mouth of Dr, Phil (yeah, lots of other people have said it, too).  I just think the guy’s a .  Actually, I think anyone who’s going to attempt short-term quick fix counseling with people they hardly know in front of an audience is a .  But what do I know?

Here’s the thought:  We teach people how to treat us.

Simple enough.  In theory.  In practice it’s hard to modify the of other people, even when you can identify the ways in which you’ve been reinforcing their poor .  Once those patterns are set, changing them is tough.  Not impossible, just tough.

I was focused on this this Sunday when I decided not to call back probably too-young guy. He left me a message, a very casual, not at all apologetic message saying that he’d been under the weather and now that he was better he wanted to make plans to get together with me.   This was 5 days since I replied to him saying, yes, I’d like to see you again.

Now, I don’t know what his deal is.  He could just not be into me and so he didn’t prioritize it.  Or maybe he was pulling some – I want you to realize I have more value than you – crap.  Who the fuck knows.  All I know is that I wasn’t all that into him in the first place and was only going to go out with him again because I figured he deserved a second chance.  But not after 5 days of non-communication.  That’s not the way I expect to be treated.  And I just don’t think I have it in me, truth be told, to teach him how to treat me.

And when it comes down to it, I don’t know that I have the patience to teach any guy how to treat me.  Little things, sure.  But not the big stuff.  No, I need my guys to come pre-trained.


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9 to “Dr. Phil is a Dickhead but He’s Not Always Wrong”


  1. derek7272 says:

    >>Now, I don’t know what his deal is. He could just not be into me and so he didn’t prioritize it. Or maybe he was pulling some – I want you to realize I have more value than you – crap. Who the fuck knows.

    You don’t think he could have just been sick, like he said he was?

  2. SINgleGIRL says:

    -derek7272
    He absolutely could have been sick. But when I’m sick and it causes me to not call someone for 5 days I say, “I am so sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I’ve been so sick…” Sorry is a magic word. It fixes all kind of problems. Also, he didn’t say he was in the hospital or dying. How sick could he have been that he didn’t have the energy to send a text saying he’s sick and would touch base when he’s better? Lame.

  3. recklessstudio says:

    One word. Effort. You can’t teach that.

  4. Seth Simonds says:

    Teaching people things in the bedroom is fun. Teaching people how to be decent adults and refreshing friends sucks. Don’t waste your time with sick-probably-to-young boy. 5 days is too long and if he’d been really sick but wanted to see you, he would have called you up in his crackly voice and told you so. Or texted you. Or messaged you on whatever meatmarket online site you’re using these days. =P

  5. FitDarcie says:

    I think that if a guy is interested, he will act like he is, and you wouldn’t have to guess. I just hate it when they assume that we want them so badly. Like as if you were waiting by the phone for the past 5 days with your fingers crossed. I don’t think absence makes the heart grow fonder, it just makes us forget what the attraction was in the first place.

  6. SINgleGIRL says:

    OK. So it looks like I’m not being unrealistic here.
    -recklessstudio,
    I love it – “One word. Effort. You can’t teach that.” So true!
    -Seth Simonds
    Yep. Though I think you are making a broad assumption about what folks find fun in the bedroom. I like my guys to come pretrained there, too.
    -FitDarcie
    It is arrogance, isn’t it? At least it seems that way. They act as if we must be desperate for them to date us. Ugh. Lame.

  7. bobbyjensen says:

    Seth took the words right out of my mouth. This is a no-brainer in my opinion.

    I’ve heard that woman may like married men because they are already trained lol

    Sorry seems to be the hardest word :)

  8. hoLLy haVok says:

    Totally agree!!! It gets REALLY old trying to “train” a guy to treat you how you want to be treated. You imagine all these scenarios happening when in reality, they will never happen because the guy just isn’t like that. I’ve yet to find a guy whow can actually figure out how to treat me like I want to be treated. Come on guys, it’s not that hard! :)

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    -bobbyjensen
    Married men? No. But I have frequently said that I prefer divorced man because they often come pre-trained (This has been disproven to me many time, btw – wait, is disproven even a work. I just can’t think today.)
    -hoLLy haVok
    First, thank so much for joining in on our conversation and I love your name! It does get old, doesn’t it? That’s the perfect way to put it. And it’s not that hard to treat people with respect and kindness, which is all most women want. So really, what is their issue?