Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Thought Some More About It/Probably Thinking Too Much

I thought some more about my two unsuccessful dates earlier this week. Here’s what I came up with:

The that I had on Tuesday night with the guy I should have liked (super-smart and gorgeous), well, I had really good reasons for not liking that guy.  I was beating myself up over it because I wanted to like him.  And because that’s what I do, I beat myself up over stuff.

But seriously, there was no way he and I would have worked together.

  • He’s a divorced dad, which is something I’m totally cool with.  In fact, I think divorced dads can be really hot – as long as they’re good dads. He said a couple of things that had me putting him in the “not a good dad” category.  I know it’s hard to guess about these things.  But a guy who doesn’t see his kid much and really doesn’t want to see his kid any more often than he does (when they live in the same city), I think that puts him in the “not a good dad” group.
  • He came off as really intolerant and disrespectful of people different than him.  I’m not talking about politically incorrect.  I’m talking intolerance.  Not because of one thing he said, but because of several.
  • This 3rd one is very NYC centric.  He is so into the Hamptons thing.  And I’m just not.  I loathe the Hamptons.  If you’re not from here then you probably don’t have any idea what I’m talking about.  But it can be a great litmus test.

And my on Wednesday night.  Well that one was partially my fault.  My expectations were too high.  We had so much fun on our first date.  There was no way he could live up to the hype.

And then he showed up looking so dressed down and didn’t compliment me on my appearance(I’m sorry guys, but you really need to learn to pay attention to this stuff.  If your date is dressed nicely, compliment her. And for gods sake, don’t show up to a second date in sneakers and a sweatshirt.).  I was feeling let down pretty much from the get-go.  I probably wasn’t as bubbly as I usually am.  And he probably picked up on that.

So anyway, I don’t think it’s so much that I’m being too picky (as some people have suggested) or that I’m not in the appropriate headspace for dating.  Just the wrong guys/ bad dates.


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3 to “Thought Some More About It/Probably Thinking Too Much”


  1. Teifion says:

    You are being picky, just a very very small value of picky ;)
    -
    I hope that your dates get better or failing that that you get a really really funny story out of it. The sort of story that you’d title as “I saw a Panda and a Hippo wrestling”. I can’t actually give much advice on how to go about it as you appear to be taking it well.

  2. PiscesInPurple says:

    A guy would have to be really spectacular for me to consider forgiving a love of the Hamptons.

  3. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Teifion,
    Not sure what I can do with that, but I’ll see what I can do.
    -PiscesinPurple,
    THANK YOU for understanding. I was afraid it was going to make me sound like a freak. But really, how could I date someone who wanted to rush out THERE all summer long? I’d rather walk on hot coals than spend my summer weekends commuting to that hell.