I really enjoyed Seth’s recent post over at The Dating Papers, “How To Get Over Your Ex”. And I completely agree with him. As I’ve commented on before, I am not a fan of wallowing, or making sad desperate calls to exes when you’re feeling low.
That said. I’d also like to add, this is not always easy. And anyone who says it is is a liar. Yeah, we should all just man up, delete the numbers from our cell phones and get on with our lives. If someone has made it clear that they have no space for us in their lives and their hearts, then there’s really no point in holding onto that shit.
Even if they say they want to be friends. Even if they call you sometimes. Even if it makes you feel better when they say they care.
I’ve been struggling with this lately. Yeah, me. Proponent of the Dead to Me school of break ups. The very first person to comment on Seth’s post and say, “yes, I agree”. Lot’s of stuff has been going haywire in my life that has nothing to do with dating and relationships (family stuff and work stuff and money stuff – the yucky stuff of being an adult). And one of my exes has been wanting to be there, in my life. Not consistently. Not helpfully. But occasionally, when it’s convenient for him and he feels like it for whatever reason. Nostalgia, I guess. And sometimes I let him, Sometimes I even reach out. And then I get really mad because he’s self involved or unresponsive to my needs. Which is kind of funny because I know with absolute certainty that he is self involved and unresponsive to my needs.
Hah. I deleted his number again today. For like the 20th time since I’ve known him. Seriously, I’ve not exagerating. I’ve also removed him from my “friends” list and blocked him from receiving my Tweets. None of that is irreversable. I can’t be 100% certain that sometime in the next month or two months or three that I won’t be feeling low or lonely and suddenly he’ll seem like the most logical person to turn to. But I am hoping that by outing my stupidity here on my blog I’m a heck of a lot less likely to behave that way in the future.
And now I’ve got to go get pretty for my date tonight.
Tags: break up, Dead to Me, exes, first date