Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Second Thoughts (and 3rd thoughts)

I’m supposed to have tonight with the guy I had to cancel on last week because I was sick.  I was really excited about going out with him.  That’s pretty unusual as I try to keep my excitement to a minimum prior to first dates.  Hopeful-yes, excited-no. I figure it’s better to be pleasantry suprised than disappointed and so if I let myself actually get excted over some guy I’ve never met there’s a pretty good chance I’m going to be disappointed.

But I did it.  I let myself get excited.  For a lot of reasons.  The biggest being that I was just happy he seemed like someone I’d really like and I was ready to really like someone.  I felt like I’d let myself waste a lot of time being annoyed with Mr. Potential and I was ready to really like someone.

But in the last few days me and this new guy have had some email exchanges that have me rethinking him.  That have me thinking that maybe I don’t even want to go out with him.  Instead of coming off as a confident, charming, smart guy he’s starting to sound like a bossy, asshole.

I’m even thinking I might cancel tonight’s date.  You know, follow the advice I seconded last week and go with my gut. My gut is saying this guy might be trouble.  I really don’t need any more trouble. Really.


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5 to “Second Thoughts (and 3rd thoughts)”


  1. recklessstudio says:

    If you really think it’ll be a waste of your time in the long run, then skip it. You have the luxury of abundance on your side. Go with you gut.

  2. darkheath says:

    If the bossiness and arrogance is starting before you even meet the guy, it’s not going to get any better. Even if he hides it well, it will surface at some point.

  3. darkheath says:

    The “luxury of abundance”, I like that. I guess the opposite would be the “desperation of few”.

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    First, you guys are great for my ego. I’m having a rough week (not having anything to do with dating or relationships – just rough in other ways). Reading about my luxury of abundance is a real pick me up. -darkheath,
    That is my concern. That he is only going to get bossier and more arrogant as time goes on. But then I think, when maybe I am misreading the emails and he is being sarcastic? Ugh.

  5. cjw666 says:

    Yes, you clearly have the luxury of abundance, but that, or the opposite, should not affect your judgement. If you don’t want to go out with the guy, then don’t! Simple, eh? It’s your life – control whatever you can about it.