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The Few, The Proud, The Utterly Lacking in Imagination

I don’t know why, but there are still men who think are good places for dates. Why oh why? There is nothing a guy can do to turn me off more than asking me to meet him at the W (any of the Ws) or the Mercer or the Hudson or Ava or any of the places that were hot 5-10 years ago or are still semi-hip now.

Boring. They’re all generic, overpriced, soul-less, loud and kind of pathetic places.

Picking one of these tells me that you are A)Trying to impress me with the fact that you can afford to spend that much money on drinks (sorry, not impressed). B)You have no imagination and probably don’t get out much, because you have don’t have any better ideas. C)You’re also probably insecure. You are sticking with a brand name and there’s a certain security to that.

Here’s my caveat regarding hotel bars. There are some old, classic hotel bars that are wonderful places for dates. I adore the Algonquin, for example.

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10 to “The Few, The Proud, The Utterly Lacking in Imagination”

  1. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by derek7272
    Thu, 12/25/2008 – 9:16pm

    You sound … I don’t know. A tad bitter and judgmental? (Sorry, nothing personal, but you kinda do). Personally, I like the Union Square W; it’s around the corner from where my friend lives and we go there from time to time. And when I lived in Hell’s Kitchen I’d go to the Hudson Hotel from time to time;

  2. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by derek7272
    Thu, 12/25/2008 – 9:30pm

    oops – didn’t mean to post so soon. Anyway, as I was saying, I haven’t taken a proper date to any of those places in ages .. but jeez, I like them fine enough. The Hudson was always fun when I went in the summertime. It has a nice outdoors area. They are just venues … I suppose if I was a real suave nightclub hopper or was really trying to impress a girl I’d go for the hot new club, but whatever. And even at one of these places, is your bar bill is going to be that expensive that paying for it would be impressive?

  3. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by SINgleGIRL
    Fri, 12/26/2008 – 6:30am
    LOL, Please never apologize for your comments here. I love them. And this time you said exactly the right thing. Yes, I am being judgmental. This is my judgment, take it or leave it. I don’t expect everyone to agree but it’s mine and I stand by it. What’s more, I STRONGLY believe that the best places for dates are not necessarily the places you’d go to hang out with your friends. Hotel bars show a lack of imagination and a ‘going along with the crowd’ mentality. They are convenient and sometimes not unpleasant. But they don’t say, ‘wow, this guy is interesting’.

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by Hammer86
    Fri, 12/26/2008 – 12:28pm

    You are being totally judgmental. I get that if a guy is trying to impress you with his money that is a turn-off, but what I don’t get is why you feel like you have to be impressed with a guy’s choice of venue. I personally don’t put much thought into where I take a date. The reasoning is simple, and you touched on it in your first post about not expecting to spend more than 30 minutes on a first date. My choice of venue has more to do with logistics for getting sexual/taking her home than it does with anything else. When it comes down to it, if a guy is super attractive, interesting, and fun, it doesn’t really matter where he takes you.

  5. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by derek7272
    Fri, 12/26/2008 – 4:10pm

    “They don’t say, ‘wow, this guy is interesting’.” … Well, no, but I think I’m interesting enough in-person that I don’t need to rely on a venue to impress someone, and like Hammer, I don’t put much thought into where I take a date. At least not a date until I’m excited about someone, and that won’t be until I’m a couple dates in.

    You seem to think you’re writing “rules all men should follow in dating,” but I think these are mostly “rules all men should follow in dating ME.” Women are really all very different, and your tastes are not universal! I’m sure there are some 24-year-olds who’d feel more comfortable at the W’s Underbar than the Algonquin!

  6. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by derek7272
    Fri, 12/26/2008 – 4:45pm

    Being judgmental is fine when it comes to judging something as wrong or right for oneself, but I find it annoying and a turn-off when it carries with it an air of moral superiority. Like what you said about guys who don’t go out much, as if it implied there was something wrong with them. Well, some guys are homebodies — some women too. Those might not be right for you, but whatevah, y’know?

    I don’t know that I’d use a term like “bridge and tunnel riff raff” either. I know exactly what you mean, and I wouldn’t enjoy a place like that either, but all the same…

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by Hammer86
    Fri, 12/26/2008 – 5:01pm

    Derek, I have to disagree with your statement about all women being different. There are definitely substantial differences among women, but there are also more similarities than they are willing to admit. Attraction is not a choice. It happens at a lower level of the brain, and has evolved over millions of years. Some of our attraction mechanisms have evolved from long before we were humans or even mammals.

    Taking dating advice from a woman is not the best idea because they are inherently emotional creatures and when you ask for advice you’re working the left, logical side of their brain. That said, you should be careful about how where you take someone is going to be interpreted. Clearly, if you take SingleGirl to the W bar, she’s going to interpret it as being showy and needy, and be turned off.

  8. SINgleGIRL says:

    Most of the guys I date are attractive, fun, interesting and successful, blah, blah, blah. Many have traveled the world, lived on foreign continents, won major awards in their fields, do meaningful work for society, blah, blah, blah. I play in the big leagues. It’s NYC and I date grown ups. Not recent college grads playing at how many times he can score off his latest line. For a guy to stand out he’s going to have to do more.
    I know, I sound harsh. I am harsh, I guess. But let me ask, why would a homebody take a girl out to a hotel bar? A homebody should take the time, go online, do some research and find a nice, low key place that reflects his mellow attitude. There’s nothing wrong with not going out much. I’m advocating that people be true to who they are. Not go along with the heard mentality of “well know = good”.

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by Hammer86
    Mon, 12/29/2008 – 6:57am

    No, you’re being way too logical about your dating. And there-in lies the problem. You can say all of this bullshit all day if you want, but when it comes down to it, women are emotional creatures and when something FEELS good, they gravitate toward it. As interesting and attractive as a guy is on paper having traveled the world and lived in foreign countries, if he’s still a typical wuss who doesn’t know how to stimulate you emotionally then clearly you’re going to be logical about whether or not to date him.

    It’s not about lines, it’s not about notches, it’s about being the man that women want, and as a result deserving what you get. It’s about having ridiculously high standards for relationships and screening through many many women until you find what you’re looking for. You seem to think it’s about tricking someone into doing what I want, when it’s more about making someone feeling comfortable about going against social programming and doing what SHE wants.

    You don’t play in the big leagues, you’re playing in the senior leagues. The stakes are lower because people are less needy and have far less options. The dating pool is thin at your age, and when you narrow it down to guys in shape with their shit together it’s minuscule. The big leagues are when you’re competing against 20 other dudes many of whom are rich or celebrities.

  10. SINgleGIRL says:

    Readers, I chose to stop replying to the thread at this point because it was just too silly.