Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Basics

I don’t believe in many rules when it comes to dating, but here’s one I believe in – never, never ever, commit to spending more than 30 minutes with someone on a .  There’s less than a 30 percent chance that you’re going to like this person.  I’m being generous here.  It’s probably even less likely than that.  Why would you commit to spending precious time with someone you don’t like?

Life is short.  There are hundreds of fun and meaningful ways to spend your time.  Don’t waste it on a lot of crappy dates. There are people who are going to tell you otherwise, who think that every date is another potential adventure.  If they want to waste hours a year making polite chitchat with someone they’re never going to see again, fine.  I’d rather go home early and read a great book.

So for first dates I’m going to advise you stick to drinks.  Drinks or some alternative activity that isn’t going to take up too much of your time.


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1 to “The Basics”


  1. SINgleGIRL says:

    posted by Hammer86
    Fri, 12/26/2008 – 12:17pm

    This is such a good call. I even think that the 30% chance is very high, for me it’s like a 2-5% chance that I’ll actually like them enough to look at them as anything more than a fuck buddy. That doesn’t mean I can’t have fun talking to them or having sex with them. I usually categorize someone into one of the following:
    Long Term Potential (very very very rare)
    Fuck Buddy Potential (hot body and high energy/adventurous personality)
    I’m leaving (most of these are prescreened out before I ever go out with them for a first time, but it still makes up a good 40%)
    Based on where I categorize a person, I act differently toward them, so as not to be deceptive about what I want with them.