I will eventually get down to giving you the names of some of my favorite places to go for dates. For first dates and for 2nd, 3rd… dates (which I’m really excited about). But for these first few posts I’m just laying the ground work.
Speaking of groundwork, let’s talk about what I think makes a good first date spot. It’s so simple and elegant (kind of like a mac) yet so few of the men I date adhere to these basic principles.
- You should be able to speak with each other, comfortably. This means being able to hear each other. No obscenely loud music. Noplace overcrowded. Not being able to talk with one another kind of defeats the purpose of the date.
- Pick a venue that embodies the characteristics of your personality that you are trying to highlight: mellow, upbeat, sophisticated, trendy, classic, youthful, serious, down-to-earth, outdoorsy… If you’ve been passing yourself off as a completely unmaterialistic, low-key guy who likes to get out of the city every weekend and retreat to the mountains then you probably shouldn’t plan a date for a meatpacking district hotspot that you read about in NYMag.
- Listen! Has she said she likes wine? (This can come up in many ways. Some sites ask about the contents of a fridge. Others ask about what kind of class a person would take if they had the time. Have they mentioned wine chilling in the fridge? An interest in wine tasting classes?) Pick a wine bar. Do they not drink or rarely drink at all? This is not that rare. I am amazed at the number of times I hear of non drinkers taken to bars for dates, even though it clearly states on their profiles that they don’t drink (yeah. the non-drinker should speak up. But sometimes this is a senstive subject, and the info is there for the guy to see). Has she given you other hints to her likes and dislikes? I bet you she has. Lots of them. Pay attention.
Tags: first date, music, nymag, trendy, wine, wine bar, work