So, here’s how the story ended. One day (I think I was probably 29, but maybe not. Maybe 28 or 30, as I’ve mentioned before I have a horrible sense of time.) I realized that he and I would never, ever, ever end up together. No matter what. No matter what I did, or risked or sacrificed. He and I had been talking and he said something that made it all click for me. He repeated again that I was his soulmate and that he thought about me and talked about me all of the time. But then he said something really inconsiderate and selfish. He didn’t realize it, but it crushed me.
And then I realized what I was to him. I was his fantasy girl. The “big fish” story. The one who got away.
I wasn’t real to him. He wanted to live his safe, nice suburban life(which was the antitheis of everything I ever wanted, btw) and dream about what it might have been like if we stuck it out.
Whereas I was willing to leave my intense, urban world and try to find a way to blend into his life and make it work with him, in his world. Because I thought we were soulmates and therefore belonged together. Have I mentioned that as this point we were not living in the same country?
And once I realized that basic truth I knew that I had to cut all contact and get on with my life. And that’s what I did. I’m only sorry it took me so long to catch on.
Tags: comments, soulmate