Yesterday, after my nap, I found myself back at my computer. I wish I didn’t feel the need to do it, but I had to check Mr. Potential’s online dating profile. I wasn’t expecting it to have magically disappeared, although that would have made me extremely happy. I was just hoping that he hadn’t look at it in a day or two. Unfortunately, the site confirmed that his last log in was “today”.
I’ll admit, I was hurt. Here was a man who wanted to introduce me to his closest friends, who’d bought me a christmas gift, who was talking about things he wanted “us” to do in the future and he was keeping a very active online dating profile. And my hurt was compounded when I (I’ll admit, this has become an obsession of mine. This is an issue that is near and dear to my heart as it was a major contributing factor to a break up of one of my previous relationships.) checked back earlier this afternoon and he was “online now”.
I sat here and thought hard about him and everything I know about him and his character and what kind of guy I truly believe him to be. After all, he really could just be a great player. The kind of guy who realizes when he needs to put up a little bit more effort and so he puts in a little but more effort. I’ve seen it before. The guy who shows up with gifts when he knows he been out cheating and is about to get caught. The one who suggests an intimate weekend away because he’s been treating you like crap and he knows he needs to do something to make it right.
The more I thought about it the more convinced I became that Mr. Potential isn’t one of those guys. I think. I still might end up feeling betrayed in the end, but he just seems genuine.
Also, I realized that I need to accept the fact that I could know more about his motivation if I’d done a better job of asking him about his past. As I’ve written about before, I have a really hard time asking about a person’s past. I know a tiny bit about his ex-wife and how they met. But not much. I don’t know how long they were together before they got serious/exclusive and how, exactly, things went wrong. For all I know he’s petrified of rushing into any new LTR and making another big mistake.
What I do know is that I genuinely like the guy and he seems to genuinely like me. He leaves for the holidays in couple of days and we have no plans to see each other before he goes (he is insanely busy with work). I can be OK with waiting until he gets back to see what happens. If he chooses to check in with the online dating site every day, then I’m just going to have to shrug it off. It pisses me off, but it’s not the end of the world.
Tags: Dating update, gift, online dating etiquette