Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Do you believe in soulmates?

Lately, I’ve been involved in several discussions where the topic of soulmates has come up (in one it was presented as the couple having a “special connection”).  There seem to be some people who believe that there are certain couples who are meant to be together and others who just don’t believe in that meant to be stuff.

For most of my adult life I fell in with the believers.  I strongly believed that there was someone (maybe multiple someones over time) who I was meant to be with.  That belief led me to make some pretty dumbass decisions.

I’m with the skeptics nowadays.  I think.  I guess you can say I’m agnostic on the subject.

I was wondering what my readers thought?

  • Yes. I believe that each of us has one perfect soulmate. (7 votes)
  • Yes. I believe in soulmates, but I believe that each of us might have several soulmates in our lifetime. (50 votes)
  • I’m not sure how I feel. (16 votes)
  • I don’t believe in soulmates. (13 votes)
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11 to “Do you believe in soulmates?”

  1. That Lawyer Dude says:

    I have found my soul mate and we are for life. I have found a soulmate for the office and we are good there. I think finding a soul mate is a process of both knowing ones self and being honest with each other. It requires a maturity and a fidelity that goes beyond the norm. Well beyond the norm. I do not think most people find their soul mates. I don’t think most people have one per se, that one special person kind of thing, but I do believe that for many, soul mates exist and they are findable. First though we have to find ourselves.

  2. cjw666 says:

    Personally, I’m certain that there are such things as soulmates. However, I’m equally convinced that there’s nothing “meant” about it. If you meet a soulmate (and there could be several, or even lots and not even necessary one at a time), they you just “fit” together. You may or may not be lovers, but you probably will be, because it’s just so utterly “natural”.

    However, a soulmate isn’t necessarily the partner you will want to, or even should, live with – they are just a person you find it so easy to be with and with whom you don’t have to pretend at all.

    But, for that reason, if for no other, if we do live with them, then it may not last. To me, that’s because the excitement of living with someone else and forging a future of some sort just might not be there at all with someone so perfectly matched to us. Sometimes, some of us need a bit of controversy and occasional disharmony to push us forward in life.

  3. 20forty says:

    I’m a skeptic but maybe not as skeptical as I used to be. Maybe not a cynical? I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I just don’t think they are necessarily ‘soulmates.’ For me that implies a whole level of depth I think is too rare to be possible for everyone.


  4. bobbyjensen says:

    Hey SG, finally got to register here.

    Yep, I believe that there are those who have a better fit for us, maybe the best fit for us. Those people are the soulmates. I think there’s a distinction between “Perfect” fit, as most believe soulmates are, and “best” fit, which I believe is closer to the truth and qualifies soulmate.

    I guess it depends on interpretation and/or definition.

  5. derek7272 says:

    I think it’s something that comes over time, probably a long time. They are made, not found.

  6. darkheath says:

    I certainly don’t believe in some “higher power matchmaker” who plays some game of separating all the soulmates and watches joyfully as they bunle through life in search of each other. But… I do believe that there can be perfectly paired couples who share mutual interests and ideologies. But as others have stated, it takes a lot of open communication and honesty.

  7. darkheath says:


    missed the “G”. It should have said “as they BUNGLE through life…”.


  8. Hypatia says:

    I believe in fate, not necessarily soul mates… if that makes sense? I think that there are some people who are “meant” to be together, but that has more to do with fate than it does for them being “the other half” of the person.

    And some people? Fate has decided will be all alone. (I have a sneaking suspicion I’m in that category…. most unfortunately…) So there’s no “soul mate” for them, but that’s ok, because they weren’t fated to have someone they were “meant” to be with.

    But what the hell do I know, right? That’s just my feeling about it– (well, today at least!)

  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    Wow. Thanks EVERYONE who answered and commented. So it looks like there our collective opinions are all over the place. I’m intrigued by derek7272’s idea that soulmates are made and not found. That sounds like something I could agree with.

  10. derek7272 says:

    I got that idea from reading this book, “Unhooked Generation: the truth about why we’re still single” by Jillian Straus. It is kinda a chick book, but interesting … I was feeling introspective. Anyway so Straus always had felt pressure on relationships because her parents always seemed to have the “perfect marriage” and she didn’t think she’d have anything that’d ever live up to that. Finally in the course of doing research for her book she asked her parents if they knew right away they were soulmates – and they were like, “hell no!” … had their fair share of difficulties early-on.

  11. SINgleGIRL says:

    Interesting… I’ve been pretty vocal, here, about my dislike of Relationship Gurus, but that seems alright. I’m pro research, as a practice.