OK, I finally changed the Song of the Day. It’s still Nina Simone, though. I’ve moved on, thematically, to My Baby Just Cares for Me (as an added bonus for those of you who listen the whole way through, there’s a totally whacked out interview with Nina at the end of the song – I love YouTube).
Speaking of ‘My Baby Just Cares for Me’, as a theme, I’ve been thinking a lot over the last few days about exactly what it is about Mr. Potential’s behavior that has me so pissed off. As more than one of my fabulous readers has commented, he hasn’t lied to me. He told me he was keeping his profile up. We’re taking things slowly, but that’s not a bad thing. I have no right to be mad at him for that. Even if it does mean that I am keeping some things to myself that I’d rather have out in the open.
When it comes down to it, I’m pissed off because I can feel that he isn’t swooning for me. That ‘my baby doesn’t just care for me’ all that much. That he can do without me just fine. That if I were to disappear from his life tomorrow he wouldn’t be heartbroken. I’ve said it before, that he’s just not that into me.
And I kind of need that feeling from a guy. That longing. A measurable level of passion. I need that more than I need other things. I want to be clear. It’s not external validation I’m talking about. Please don’t confuse the two.
I know passion fades and only a nitwit would try to build a lifelong relationship on passion and nothing else. I’m not a complete idiot. I guess I’m still naive enough to hope that I can find a man with whom I can share passion and the building blocks of a healthy, mature relationship (OK, maybe I am a complete idiot).
It’s been recently suggested by more than one reader (on Twitter I think, gosh, too many freakin ways to communicate) that Mr. Potential is purposely behaving the way he is so as to throw me off my game. So that I don’t get too comfortable, I guess. I hope that’s not the case. That’d be a really silly move on his part. He might think he’s communicating, “You’re not my girlfriend, yet, so don’t get too comfortable. Don’t crowd me.” But what I’m hearing is, “Sorry babe, we’ve been having fun but if you disappeared tomorrow I wouldn’t give it a second thought.”
I could live with the former just fine, as long as I knew he was seriously passionate about me. Just you known, a commitment-phobe. A commitment-phobe who couldn’t live without me, I could find all kinds of ways to be patient and make that work. But a guy who isn’t all that into me? Well, he’s going to get kicked to the curb,
Tags: commitment-phobe, Dating update, game, Nina Simone, relationship, song of the day