My brain is a bit like a slot machine. I have all of these random, moving parts in there and every once in a while they all line up and bingo, fruit – fruit – fruit, we have a match. I have a coherent thought made from three otherwise disparate bits of information (hey, either you get the image or you don’t).
Last night I was doing a phone interview with someone I met on Twitter, @DominateDating. He’s going to use it for a podcast, I guess (I’m not ready to venture into podcasts for this site), Anyway, we were talking about dating (go figure) and my impressions of men. I told him that, honestly, since his listeners would probably skew young, I didn’t have a lot of contact with men under the age of 25 or even 30 (outside of workplace settings). But that what I was hearing about them confused me.
Stay with me, a few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a male friend and he was saying that none of the young women at his office were having any luck meeting guys. And I just found that so hard to believe. I knew these girls. They were all pretty and very smart. Some of them were shy, but not so shy that they couldn’t make eye contact with strangers. And yet, all they talked about at work was that none of them had boyfriends (And were hence easy prey for the office cassanova who would pick them up, play with them and break their hearts, one after another. But since they were all so lonely each woman would play the, “but he really likes me” game.)
I can remember being young in the city. There were bars that I’d hang out at with my friends. Not “singles bars” but places that we liked that we felt comfortable in. There was usually a pool table and/or a great jukebox and, of course, cheap drinks. And people who wanted to get laid got laid. It wasn’t that hard. You saw someone you liked the looks of and you spoke to them. It could be a one night stand if that’s what you were into or you could hand out your number and go on a date and wind up with a boy/girlfriend.
I didn’t start online dating until after I turned 30, when most everyone I knew had already become a part of a couple and I started to feel like an old lady in those casual, hang-out bars. Plus, by the time I was 30 my career was in full swing and I just didn’t have time to do much more than go online shopping for a boyfriend.
Anyway, back to the slot machine of my brain. I remember a few years ago I was at a party and a friend was asked how she met her boyfriend. My friend had had a couple of drinks and so her answer came out louder than it might have otherwise, but there was some real wisdom in it. She replied, “How did I meet my boyfriend? I walked outside my apartment and met him crossing the street.” It’s true, they had actually met crossing the street. “I’m so sick of listening to people bitch about how they can’t meet anybody. All they fucking have to do is go outside.”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am not a dating or relationship expert. And if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time then surely you know that I don’t know much about much. I’m just feeling my way through. Trying to learn from my mistakes. But I do know this, meeting someone to date really isn’t that hard. Go outside. Talk to people. Go places that you like and hang out there often. Talk to people. If you’re at an age where most of your friends are no longer single and/or you’re insanely busy, try online dating. It’s easy as hell.
Meeting people is the easy part. Heck, getting laid is pretty damn easy, too. This relationship shit is hard.
Tags: bar, dating, expert, get laid, Online dating, pick-up artist, Twitter