It was Sunday night when I told Mr. Potential that I hid my online profile (and I was so impressed with how the conversation went). He spent the night at my place and left early for work.
It is now Wednesday afternoon. We’ve been in touch by text and email since then, all very pleasant and cordial. Some of it more than pleasant, actually. On Monday he complained in a text that he’d had a rotten day at work so I emailed him a half-naked picture of myself (no face or identifying features).
But anyway, it’s Wednesday afternoon and we have no plans to see each other again. None. The weekend is just a couple of days away. I know he’s really busy with work right now and has something huge coming up on Friday, but that hasn’t stopped him from checking in on the online dating site everyday. Yeah, I checked. I’ll admit it.
So I’m feeling like an ass. Like I stuck my neck way out, way too soon and I overestimated his interest. But I’m smart enough to know that there is absolutely no smart thing that I can say or do right now. I just have to wait.
Wait and see. And if by Friday he hasn’t suggested we get together then I’ll tactfully let him know that I get it and go back to dating.
God I hate this. I hate everything about it. I hate feeling vulnerable and wrong and sad and like, once again the only reason some guy has been hanging around is because he thinks I’m hot and likes fucking me and the second I vocalize that I’m actually into him he takes 4 giant steps back. I deserve better than this. I really do.
And I still haven’t called that ex back about drinks tomorrow night. I feel like the way I’m feeling I would just fall into a puddle of tears. And I am NOT planning on crying over this.
Tags: Dating update, hiding my profile, sex, vulnerable