Now don’t everybody shout out their answers at once.
I have a date in a few hours. Not with Mr. Potential. A first date with someone I met online a week or so ago. I am ambivalent about it. I’d like it to go well, of course. Sure I would. I think.
Yesterday Mr. Potential was home recovering from a minor thing, not sick exactly, but not well (this is where this personal/private issue just becomes weird). I told him to holler if he needed anything. It was a genuine offer. He replied that he might holler just to get some TLC. And so I offered to provide that, too. Whether or not he needed it.
He never asked and so I didn’t go rushing over to his apartment.
He was absolutely right to not ask me to come over. We just saw each other a few days ago and have plans for tomorrow. We are still getting to know one another. At this stage we should be seeing each other no more than twice a week. That’s the smart way to handle things.
But I am used to men coming into my life and demanding that I drop everything for them. Who want to see me more than that. Who expect me to be at their beck and call. And I’m not going to lie. There is something really comforting about that. The intensity of it. The “I must have you” feeling you get when someone calls you and asks you to drop whatever you’re doing because they need you (and sometimes it’s not even about sex).
But it’s not healthy. No, it’s not healthy.
So the fact that Mr. Potential didn’t ask me to reschedule my day yesterday so that I could come provide him with TLC, it was disconcerting. I knew it was smart and sane and the right way for us to proceed with this relationship. But a part of me thought, gee, maybe he’s just not into me.
Even though he texted several times. Yesterday and today.
And so he and I will get to know each other better, slowly but surely. Like grown-ups do. And I will continue to date. Because that’s what I do. I hedge my bets.
Ugh. Maybe I should just cancel and go out and buy myself some pie. A great big slice of pumpkin pie. Mmmm.No tags for this post.