I try to politely let guys down when I’m not interested in them. I think it’s kind of rude to just stop answering emails or to not return phone calls.
There are times when this policy falls by the wayside. If someone’s been rude or nasty to me, or just unpleasant, well, I might be less likely to follow through. I know that’s kind of pathetic. I should treat everyone the way I’d like to be treated. That’s the way I try to live. Try that for a dating rule – just treat your dates the way you’d like to be treated. How novel.
Just to be clear, this only applies to guys I’ve actually met. Not the guys I meet online and then never meet for one reason or another.
Anyway, a few months ago I sent someone what I thought was a polite, “no thank you” email. I wasn’t interested in seeing him anymore. And frankly, he’d been a jerk to me. Most women would’ve just blown him off. But I tried to end things politely. That’s just me.
He replied with a pretty vicious email. It was a classic case of sour grapes. He said I was a bitter, old, lonely woman and no one would ever want me. Or something like that. I didn’t save the email.
I didn’t take him seriously, because I knew that what he said wasn’t true. I’m not bitter (lonely and old, well…). I know what bitter feels like. I’ve felt it in the past. I hope to never feel it again, but I know that I’m not immune.
Earlier this evening, Getting Single mentioned on Twitter that she had a friend who’s been single for 8 months who has fallen into the ‘bitter single category’. I feel for that friend. Bitter is a bad place to be and hard place to get out of.
I don’t want to dwell, though. This isn’t one of those posts. Yeah, sometimes life sucks and it can be hard to not internalize it all. And then the smart people in the world find something that reminds them that life doesn’t actually suck. Not all the time. And we move on. We get out of the bitter place.
Today’s Song of the Day is Bitter, by Jill Sobule, btw.
Tags: Bitter, email, Online dating, rules, song of the day, Twitter