I had to head out of town yesterday, just a couple of hours after Mr. Potential left my apartment. We texted during the day yesterday (after he woke up from a several hour, much deserved, nap) and then again today. Today he asked , via text, if he would see me later this week and I said yes. He suggested a couple of days, I said either would work. He texted back and asked if I wanted to know the plans or if I wanted them to be a surprise. I replied, “surprise!”.
This was such progress for us. He made plans without checking with me. He just went for it. This is a big turn-on for me.
And I’m so happy about it. I am. We are well on our well to bf/gf couples happiness land.
Except, of course, that I am me. And while I am happy (really happy, no joke) I have all of these little voices of doubt that won’t stop whispering in my ear.
I’ve been here before. So many times. It’s going to take weeks, months really, until I find out if the person I think I know is the real guy. He could just be putting on an act. He could be telling me everything he thinks I want to hear, all of the time. I don’t think so. But I’ve thought that before, too.
And there’s just the whole getting to know each other better thing. What if he gets to know me better and realizes, “holy shit”, there are parts to her that I don’t want anything to do with. I am who I am. I don’t pretend to be anything I’m not. I do take a while to unveil some layers, however. And there might be some layers he can’t handle. And if that happens, that happens.
So right now I am trying to balance being happy with where I am (it’s new and fun and I want it to grow into more) with being scared to death that it’s all going to go wrong.
I can’t remember, is this the good part of dating?
Tags: dating dysfunction, texts, turn-on