Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Is This The Good Part? I Can’t Remember

I had to head out of town yesterday, just a couple of hours after Mr. Potential left my apartment. We texted during the day yesterday (after he woke up from a several hour, much deserved, nap) and then again today. Today he asked , via text, if he would see me later this week and I said yes. He suggested a couple of days, I said either would work. He texted back and asked if I wanted to know the plans or if I wanted them to be a surprise. I replied, “surprise!”.

This was such progress for us. He made plans without checking with me. He just went for it. This is a big for me.

And I’m so happy about it. I am. We are well on our well to bf/gf couples happiness land.

Except, of course, that I am me. And while I am happy (really happy, no joke) I have all of these little voices of doubt that won’t stop whispering in my ear.

I’ve been here before. So many times. It’s going to take weeks, months really, until I find out if the person I think I know is the real guy. He could just be putting on an act. He could be telling me everything he thinks I want to hear, all of the time. I don’t think so. But I’ve thought that before, too.

And there’s just the whole getting to know each other better thing. What if he gets to know me better and realizes, “holy shit”, there are parts to her that I don’t want anything to do with. I am who I am. I don’t pretend to be anything I’m not. I do take a while to unveil some layers, however. And there might be some layers he can’t handle. And if that happens, that happens.

So right now I am trying to balance being happy with where I am (it’s new and fun and I want it to grow into more) with being scared to death that it’s all going to go wrong.

I can’t remember, is this the good part of dating?


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8 to “Is This The Good Part? I Can’t Remember”


  1. Seth says:

    It isn’t the best part of dating but it is the part where you see the most progress. Rather like framing a house allows you to see all the parts in just a few days but when you look inside, there’s months of work left to do.

    Strangely, my recent post applies, in part, to what you’re facing. In short: Approaching new aspects of a relationship with a mind for acceptance instead of tolerance will help create true forward progress instead of movement that temporarily hides a lack of satisfaction.

    You seem to have found a communicator who cares about your preferences but still operates as a separate entity. This might end up being very, very good for you! I’m so glad you’re happy!

    Seth

  2. Miss Heather Leigh says:

    I did that too with my current boyfriend; constantly questioning, wondering, debating, being uncertain. However it’s always worth taking the risk, and if you like this guy, then go for it. Maybe you won’t like his later revealed layers? It’s all perspective, I think.

  3. Infinity says:

    I say go for it. You have so much experience, you should have a good idea of what’s good and what’s not and if it’s been good up to this point, why not keep it going?

  4. sinfullyanon says:

    There ya go!

    ~~This is definitely the Good Part.

    Now, take a deep breath & smile.

    :)

    ~x~SinfullyAnon

  5. lisaq says:

    Yes. I think it is the good part. And remember, even here at the very beginning, you are leaps and bounds ahead of some of the rest of us! ;)

  6. cathouse teri says:

    Eek. It’s so tough to really know someone. Takes time. That’s all I know. :)

  7. SINgleGIRL says:

    Thanks all. I am trying so hard to be happy about this, to not let my little self-destruct mechanism take over. And the fact that he seems to be a genuinely decent guy helps a lot. A lot.

  8. bobbyboy says:

    until I find out if the person I think I know is the real guy. He could just be putting on an act. He could be telling me everything he thinks I want to hear, all of the time.

    I think we all put on an act of sorts in the beginning. Time of course will give us the answers as to who that person really is.

    I think it’s quite natural to feel dubious about a dating partner AND where it all may end up.

    I think you have a good handle on things, I really do.